What is Love?

Chapter 1

Family is where life begins, and love never ends.

With my family gone when I was 3 and no other relatives either, I grew up in foster homes. Growing up in foster homes causes you to grow up pretty quickly. You're forced to face the fact that the world isn't all sunshine and roses a lot sooner than if you'd had a real family. The world can really be a dark place and you really have to be careful. Life isn't easy, it's something you have to work at. It's also when our lives are formulated. For me it should have been where I first was Loved, but I wasn't.

I was in my first foster home until I was 10. It was the longest time I ever spent in a home, but it wasn't the easiest times for me. Everyone wants to adopt a younger child, no one wants to adopt a teenager who most likely has problems. So clearly from when my parents died until I was 10 was prime time for me to be adopted. Clearly I did not get adopted. I had so many chances to be, they all just never worked out.

I remember one time when I was 5 that a couple was looking to adopt me. It started off with them visiting me and they took me out to eat somewhere. They were very friendly and they kept asking me about myself. They were sorry that I had no family anymore and I believed them. I told them how I'd just started dancing and I was excited to be starting real kid school.

That was the first time I was with them, and they kept coming back to spend more time with me. I was so sure that they Loved me and were going to adopt me. My foster parents kept telling me that me spending so much time with them meant a good thing. Everyone seemed sure that they were going to adopt me.

Then the couple came back on day and I immediate went up to them to give them a hug and something felt weird.

"We're here to talk with your foster mom" the lady said, giving me a sad smile.

My foster mom lead them into another room and closed the door. I sat outside that door waiting to hear that I was going to be adopted. The other foster kids would come up and say how lucky I was. The waiting turned from minutes to hours. Suddenly everyone was giving me pity looks. Finally after what seemed like forever the door opened.

My foster mom came out and ushered me into the kitchen, and I saw the couple walk out the house without looking at me or anyone. I looked up at my foster mom confused.

"Why didn't they want to talk to me?" I asked her.

"Honey, I don't really know how to tell you this" she paused and I just looked up at her. She sat down in a chair by the table and pulled me into her lap. "The Watsons have decided that they are not going to adopt you"

I just stared at her. The Watsons didn't want to adopt me. I was shocked.

"Why don't they want me?" I asked as my eyes started to water.

"It's not that they don't want you" she said rubbing my back "It's just that their situation has changed. Mrs. Watson found out that she's pregnant with a baby. And the Watsons only want to have one child at the moment."

"If she's pregnant" I said "then why would she make it seem that they Loved me?" and the tears came down my face.

"Honey I know that this is hard to understand" she said, "but sometimes these things happen and we can't control them. It's going to be okay. There will be another couple who will want to adopt you."

I jumped out of her lap and ran upstairs to the bedroom and laid down on my bed under my covers and cried until I fell asleep.

The next 5 years were more of the same situations. Sometimes it was that one had lost their job, the grandma was moving in with them, or even that they wanted a boy instead. My foster mom kept signing me up for dance classes to try and distract me each time another couple decided they didn't want me. I watched as other foster kids were adopted by Loving families and as new foster kids came to fill their spots in the house. For some reason I was the only one who never left. I watched as everyone else found their happily ever after and I just stayed in the house.