Promises to Keep

the talk

"I firstly just want to say I'm sorry" Tyler began softly. He and Tayla found themselves in the kitchen, clasping cups of coffee between their hands. They sat across the table from each other, and the tension in the room was that which the two had ever experienced; it was hard for Tyler to deal with.

"Okay" Tayla replied, unsure of what to say. If she hadn't have drank so much last night she was certain she wouldn't have gotten any sleep at all. Ever since Jason's confession, her mind was in overdrive. There was no good way to process the information she was given; could anyone? As much as she loved Tyler, she had never been more furious with him in her entire life. The question remained, would she forgive him?

"Just know, anything I ever did was because I love you" Tyler told her honestly.

"So you put me through hell because you love me? Made me question my self worth because you love me? Made me think there was something wrong with me because you love me?" Tayla near exploded. "That seems a little hard to believe" she scoffed, now beginning to feel the rage come back to her.

"I know it seems like that, but that's not-"

"And another thing, we're you ever planning on telling me? Or was this just something you were going to keep from me forever?" She asked seriously.

"I wanted to tell you! I wanted to tell you the first time it happened, accidentally" Tyler tried to reason, but he knew it would fall on deaf ears.

"What do you mean, accidentally?" Tayla asked, trying to think back to her first breakup.

"Jake was jealous of our friendship, so I just didn't correct him on a few things" Tyler told her in a soft voice. It didn't take long for Tayla to remember; her first boyfriend. He had out of nowhere told her she wasn't allowed to be friends with Tyler anymore. Well, at the time it seemed like it was out of nowhere. I guess after all this time, there was a reason that came to be, Tayla thought with a frown.

"I just- I can't believe you." Tayla was at a loss for words. "I never thought you would ever do something like that to me" she whispered, and it broke his heart.

"I didn't do it to hurt you," Tyler repeated again; he was beginning to sound like a broken record. "I only did it because I love you"

"That makes no sense, you realize that yeah?" Tayla asked him, and Tyler nodded; of course he could see that now. Of course he realized it was a mistake. There was nothing that was okay about what he did. If he hadn't been such a coward, none of this would have ever happened.

"I do now" Tyler admitted, putting his head down.

"If you felt this way about me, why didn't you tell me?" Tayla asked, trying to get any and all information she could. The whole situation still didn't make any sense to her; and even though he told her he did it because he loved her, she couldn't help but think that wasn't fully it.

"I was a coward." Tyler got up from his chair, putting his empty mug in the sink. "I was afraid of losing you. So I figured, if we went by our promise..."

"That by the time we were 35 you'd ensure I was single to avoid rejection?" Tayla finished the sentence for him. He sat back down and simply nodded in response.

"Tyler," Tayla sighed, unsure of how to continue. She felt an ache in her head, and a sick feeling in her stomach. She didn't want the words to come out, but somehow they did. "We can't be together anymore"

The words didn't shock Tyler, but he was still upset all the same.

"Tayla-"

"No, Tyler what you did was so incredibly fucked up" she told him, taking the last sip of her black coffee. She then headed to the sink, set her mug down, before heading to the fridge to grab a bottle of water. She didn't say anything as she did this, daring Tyler to say a word. When he didn't, she continued.

"How am I supposed to trust you? How am I supposed to feel about any of this? You made my life hell for years, because you were too scared to tell me you loved me?" Her voice cracked and she felt tears rush to her eyes. She wanted to wipe them away, but it was no use; there was no stopping them.

"I don't want to lose you" Tyler stated simply. He, too was at a loss for words. He never intended Tayla to ever figure any of this out. He never thought he would pay the price for this, like he currently was. But I guess that was the issue, wasn't it? He didn't think. He didn't think of the consequences. He didn't think of anybody, but himself. He was selfish, and an asshole. "I want to make this right"

"I don't think you can." Her words hurt Tyler, who began to feel overwhelmed with emotion.

"I'm going home" Tayla announced, unsure if it was even what she wanted to do. "And I don't know if I'll be back"

"What? Please, Tay. Don't go." Tyler's eyes were wide, and he could feel his emotions begin to boil over. It was at that point he realized they both were crying, and there was nothing either of them could do to help the other.

"I have to" Tayla managed to croak out. "I'm sorry, Ty. But I can't do this" she gestured between the two of them, breaking both of their hearts in the process.

"There has to be something I can do" Tyler choked on his words, getting up to try and approach Tayla. He felt a pang in his chest when she stepped away from him, wrapping her arms around herself.

"Let me go" Tayla whispered, but Tyler shook his head.

"I won't. I won't ever let you go" Tyler tried to plead, but it was no use. With one last look Tyler's way, Tayla took the bag she had hidden from view and began to carry it towards the door.

"This is goodbye, Tyler." She was blunt and emotionless. Maybe she had cried too much. Maybe this was what needed to happen. There was a lot of things she didn't know at this point, and there seemed to be nobody to offer up any answers.

Before Tyler even had the chance to say another word, she walked from the comforts of his presence and his house, towards the airport, where she would figure out where to go from there.

Authors Note

So this is being updated 3 years later, because I was re reading and realized half this chapter got deleted!? I'm not sure how! And I'm fairly certain it's not the same as it was 3 years ago 😂