nooooo

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I wake with a start.  What the heck, it was just a dream.  I find myself sitting on the couch with the lights on low. I can hear muffled voices low and angry coming from the kitchen, slowly get off the couch and sneak into the doorway so that way I can listen to what's going on. Matt is yelling at Chris in a low and angry tone.

     I cant believe what you've done, to my best friend no less. Matt whisper yelled.  I tried to stop, I tryed so hard but the pull was and still is to hard. I can fill that she needs me and you won't let me, you know that you're hurting her to right by not letting me go to her and finish the matting.  I can fill her pain, her need its so strong. whispered Chris in a pleading tone.

    I cant believe what in hearing. I just want to hold Chris in my arms and never hear him sound so broken. the next thing I now I'm in his arms and he's cradling my head in the curve of his neck and is shh-ing me. I can hear Matt muffled curses I look up to see him pulling out his hair and I have to laugh. it a funny site to see. and then I start to cry. 

  What's wrong with me. Why am I so emotional. Once again im in Chris arms. he's whispering that everything is going to be ok but I don't feel like it is. l'm so all over the place. " fine do what you have to. I can't see her like this but have better not fucking hurt her or so help me I'll kill you do yo hear me." Matt blurts out, and I'm on him like white on rice. my fists are flying into his face I'm yelling at him. dont you ever speak to him like that he's mine mine do you understand I said do you fucking understand. I froze what the hell just happened.

  Oh god Matt I'm so sorry I don't know what came over me im so sorry so so sorry please for give me Chris comes and pull me away tells me that I did nothing wrong. But Chris I just went of on Matt for know reason. Matt snort and tells me that I had a good reason to beat the shit out of him but that Chris will explain in the morning.

   We're all interrupted by my stomach growing like no tomorrow and we all laugh.  ok I make you something to eat Zoey what would you like. Chris asked me.  Um maybe some stake yeah stake. Ok I'll just get that cooked up for you he said. just thinking of it bing cooked make me sick so I thell him never mind I'm not hungry. no no you need to eat it will only take about 10 minutes he said with a big smile but I dont think I can stand the smell of the meat cooking. No Chris I cant eat it like that im sorry but I don't think I can stand the smell. What Chris and Matt yelled at the same time.

  Matt starts yelling at Chris while Chris is holding me and telling me that he is sorry, he didn't know that it could happen that soon. what are they going on about.

  

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