Diary: Dear me

D I A R Y: XVII

Oct 13, 2016
12:32PM

Dear me,

D-8.

Using my happy pen again.

Yesterday was just an ordinary day.

No talk.

No smile.

Nothing at all.

That's how we supposed to be.

But now, feels like my fate always ends up with him. I thought he will ignore me too after I ignored him but he did the opposite.

Should I stop this non sense and just follow my heart?

Should I be more confident and tell him what I feel?

Should I fall and expect more from him?

Honestly, I want him to notice me .. and I guess that is happening now. Is it selfishness if I ask or wish that he likes me back? Or just treat me special?

I have the courage but I am thinking about her .. my friend.

She likes him.

Like I do.

Should I give way and throw away my chance?

You know what diary, let's say that I am assuming .. I assume that he likes me back. Maybe I will grab that chance and let the whole world notice us. But of course, maybe he's just like the other boys . . so yeah . .

The reason why am I using this pen again bcos something happened again. This is so unusual ..

When I was standing at the fence of the corridor and looking at the students playing on the ground, he silently approached me. I didn't notice him this time. I heard a fake cough and looked who it might be. To my big surprise it was him.

He smiled.

My knees was shaking and I just blinked my eyes like a thousand times.

He chuckled and said something blurry to me bcos again, I was lost in his gaze.

"hey you okay?" he asked me that turned me back to reality.

I nod.

I looked again at the students playing since I don't know what to do..

"Hmm, about the other day .. Are you okay? I mean, I thought you ignored me .." he asked again.

I smiled and shook my head "sorry, I was in a hurry that time" why do I felt so relieved now? please don't let this end . . please?

"I was so worried .. but since I see that again, I feel better now" he then showed me his sweetest smile.

I furrowed my eyebrows bcos I don't know what is he trying to see?

He laughed a bit then I just smile "there .. I see that again .. that smile"

I gulped.

My smile?

Smile?

"So .. see you around rische! don't forget this saturday, i'll wait" he waved his hand and walked away.

My smile.

What does it mean?

could it be??

••••• xoxo