Run To Me | BAK sequel

13.

A slither of light creep into the room through the blinds that were only a quarter open, not without help from the bedside lamp, illuminating the red duvet cover and the few accessories you had scattered across the vanity in the corner of the room. The room was quiet, leaving lots of space for thought. But you weren't doing that, instead, you were trying to piece together a puzzle on your phone with your tongue between your teeth. It was relaxing and took your mind off of what you should have probably been worried about.

Tom- who had been indulged in his thoughts for longer then he'd want to admit, knocked on the door of the room he'd handed to you without any hesitation. He stepped back, seeing as the door almost immediately swung open and he suddenly felt that he was intruding in his own home and if he weren't already staring at you wide-eyed, then he swore he could have turned around and left.

"Oh- Hey," You say, seeing him stand there. Tom looked tense, his shoulders tight and jaw clenched. Rosie couldn't be your escape this time, considering she was fast asleep in the next room.

Tom didn't want to continue to run around in circles or pretend that nothing had happened. He'd been doing that for years and now with grey clouds hanging over his head with the possibility of a rainbow in the near distance- he wanted to grasp it with open palms. So he cut to the chase, considering each of your conversations since you arrived was short and innocent, merely mentioning the weather or how you slept.

You barely slept a wink.

"Hey." He replies, leaning against the door.

"Why're you up?" You wished you hadn't spoken the words the second they left, however, because you knew he didn't sleep 'til late- or early in the morning.

"We've been ignoring what we really need to talk about," Tom tells you, entering the bedroom that was a little smaller then his own.

You look up, seeing Tom in the navy blue shirt that nearly camouflaged with the dark walls. "What is it?"

He coughs awkwardly. "Us, you and me and where we stand."

It was a conversation that the two of you had been avoiding, placing every second of attention you had on Rosie who was loving every moment of it, basking in her father's arms even when he was sitting behind his office desk and spending spare moments in the library. Truthfully, it was a delaying tactic between the two of you, one that was unspoken but boiling away.

"Oh, yeah. Look, we don't need to-"

"No, we do." You stop, placing your phone down on the bedside table as Tom continues. "I should be mad at you, I should be fucking furious but I can't find it in me to even look at you the wrong way." He grips his hair, the feeling of going insane slowly creeping into his chest. "I look at you and I try and see the same women I fell in love with but the truth is that you're not, and I still love you. You don't hold the same wit and there's something else... but somehow you're stronger then before and I still fucking love you, but I shouldn't because you hurt me- you left me and I let you. And I feel like I've been pretty quiet about my feelings in all of this but Rosie and you... I want you two back in my life."

You listen with open ears as he rambles, allowing Tom to get his feelings out.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what I did and everything that came after." You say, lacing your own fingers together. "I thought I was doing the right thing and sometimes I still think I did, but sometimes I doubt that and I wonder what could've happened if I stayed."

"I keep asking myself that too. Sometimes I see that what you did was right but I missed out... I missed out on so much of her life and I don't even know what her first word was and I missed you, I sometimes wonder if that makes me crazy because a lot happened and maybe I should hate you- but I don't."