Chapter 60

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"He won't talk to me Zo. He has ignored me in the halls, avoids coming to the lockers when I am there. He hates me and it's my fault." I exclaim and stuff my mouth with a pizza roll. Zoe has changed around some classes and we have free period together. We are at the football stadium of the school, sat on the bleachers.

" He doesn't hate you, he is just hurt is all" she reassures and sips her water. I have taken a few days off of my healthy food regimen due to intense stress, heartbreak, and guilt. 

"He won't talk to me and he denies all of my calls. When I go to his house, he has Francesca lie and say he isn't there."

Zoe pouts and looks down. "I really am sorry about all this. You don't deserve this Bay."

"Maybe I do. Nothing gold ever stays, right?"

"Yup. Everything gold turns silver, then bronze, and then-"

"Okay you lost me." I tell her and shake my head.

"How about you and Asher?"

"What about me and Asher?" 

"Zoe give him a chance. I know why you shouldn't, but it would break you if you gave up this chance. You would regret it and I know he really likes you. Vice versa."

"There is a lot with me and Asher that I just can't get into and you don't know about. Good times and then bad times." she says nostalgically. 

"Give me a pizza roll" she says and throws away her fruit salad.

I chuckle and pass her a pizza roll. She bites into it and looks out into the distance.

I feel so discombobulated. I feel so out of routine. So, confused and lost. With Issac, I had a whole routine, but at the same time, no routine.

That makes no sense, I know.

Every morning at 7 am, Issac would call me and tell me good morning and that I am beautiful. We would reach to school and he would do the same thing all over again, but he would kiss me before either walking me to class or walking off to his class. We would hang out every free period and then he would drive me home after school.

I say that there is no routine because with Issac, nothing is predictable beside what we do at school. Outside of school, you are in for a big surprise basically. He would take me places in the town that I didn't even know existed, introduce me to new things, new foods. He made me expand myself and step out my box that I insisted on staying in. Without him, here with me, I am just back to being just...Bay. Still Beautiful and Bold Bay, but the best part of me was when I was with Issac, when it was Bay and Issac. I was my best self with him and I walked away from that.

And now he hates me. He hasn't talked to me 3 days.

And to be honest, I hate myself.

The bell rings, indicating that the period is over. I groan and dust the crumbs off my shirt.

"I think I am just going to head home. I am not feeling in the mood for AP Bio." I say and walk out the bleacher aisle and back into the building.

"OK. I can buy us some Thai food after school, okay?"

"Yeah." I murmur and walk to my locker. Issac is standing at the locker talking to Armani. I walk over to the two and when Issac sees me, he stops talking and the slight upturn in his lips drops. My heart clenches in pain looking at him stare at me like the way he is now, full of sadness and hurt. Armani turns around and looks at me. He smiles slightly and pats Issac on the back before walking in my direction. He embraces me in a small side hug and ruffles my hair.

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