Hold My Hand

The Mall

Staring at my faded blue Honda was almost painful. Compared to the other cars in the drive, well, it just didn't measure up. She'd probably ridden in all sorts of fluffy leather comfort, and now she was going to ride around in.... my car.

~Breathe~

"Uh, yeah. I'm down the hill." I walked as slow as possible, hoping at any moment she might change her mind. No such luck. I led her to the passenger door. "It's not a Mercedes, but it runs." I said. Suddenly I was glad I had taken it to the carwash and cleaned everything out the day before. She opened the door and sat down. She reached back, so naturally, and grabbed the belt and buckled it, with no problem. I smiled.

"So which cell store do you want to go to?" I started the engine, and the stereo came on a bit loud. "Oops, sorry." I turned it down. "Actually, I'd like to go to the one in the mall, if that's okay?" She stared forward, her hands in her lap.

"Sure, the mall." The mall.... great. Lots of people, three stories high, what could possible go wrong? I heard her inhale deeply, then she laughed. "What?" I asked softly, trying not to sound irritated. She always had some reason or another to laugh at me, and I never seemed to be in on the joke. "You're car smells just like you." She inhaled again, deeper.

"Oh, I'm sorry."

I put the car in gear and started driving to the mall at the end of town. She turned towards me, "Why are you sorry, it's a nice woodsy smell, like the forest, I haven't been there in ages."

My face got hot, "Uh, thanks." And I knew I would be an awful shade of red soon. I rolled the windows down just a hair. Thank goodness for the crisp ocean air. It only took a few minutes to get to the mall, I pulled into the closest spot I could find, and hopped out of the car. Emma was already standing next to the open door of my Honda.

"So, ready to take me phone shopping?" she asked. "Of course." But my voice squeaked on the last word, and she laughed again.

I made sure to walk up the ramp, so Emma wouldn't have to step up on anything. I was searching every corner of the entrance to the mall for any dangerous objects that might hurt her.

"What's wrong?" She stopped walking and stood, like a statue, in front of the large glass doors. I looked around again, okay, nothing sharp.

"Nothing why?"

"You don't want to take me in there do you?" She yanked her hand back and crossed her arms.

"It's not that, I just, it's a mall, and what if...?"

"What if what?" Her tone made my blood run cold. I hesitated, "What if... I hurt you?" She dropped her arms. "Is that what this is about?" She smiled, a dazzling smile. "You can't say you aren't a little worried about me running you into a wall, or, or something worse?

I rubbed my arm across my forehead, trying not to panic. "I don't like being in a mall anyways, lots of people, you know? And now I'm worrying about how bad it's going to be, because I might accidentally get you hurt." She said nothing, but reached out her hand.

I lifted my arm until it touched her palm. She gave it a squeeze, "I promise to behave myself, and not run into any walls."

I sighed, she was being too optimistic, "And even if you do have me bump into something, I swear I won't say 'OW'." I shook my head, and she could feel it, "Please Rue? Just squeeze my hand if I have to take a step up, and put your hand on my back if I'm going to be getting on or off an escalator, and it'll go smoothly, I promise."

She linked the fingers of her left hand through mine, and it felt like my air had been cut off. She squeezed my hand, "Okay now?" "Yes." But I squeaked again and she giggled. I tugged her towards the door.

The inside of the mall was bright and open, with only a few summer tourists walking around.

Good. Less people was a good thing.

I started walking us through the center of the mall. It had been a year since I'd been there, and many of the stores had changed. We walked for a few moments before Emma spoke again. "What stores are there?" I stopped and she bumped into me and giggled. Good grief, this was going to be a long day.

"Oh. Um, well right here is a candle store, to the left. A furniture store just ahead of us, and a bunch of clothing stores upstairs. I know there's over a hundred stores here, I'm not sure what they all are, did you want more than a phone?" I would take her wherever she wanted to go. She frowned. "No, I'm just worried you're not going where you want to because of me."

I stared at her. She wanted me to go shopping too? "Oh, I didn't really need anything, at least, not that I can think of. But we can stop in any store you want." I kept my tone light. She smiled slightly.

We walked on, and I described each store as we passed it. She held onto me tightly, and it was kind of pleasant. I wondered, randomly, if she had a boyfriend.

No.

I needed this job, I couldn't like her that way. It was just wrong.

Besides, how could she be attracted to me? She didn't know me from Adam. I sighed.

"Tired already? We're not even there yet." Her smile was infectious and I smiled back. It didn't matter that she couldn't see it, I knew, but I wish she could have. "No, just thinking. Your sister really didn't mind that I'm taking you outside?" That wasn't what I was thinking about, but it sounded good.

"She doesn't know I'm here."

That WASN'T good.

"What do you mean? You didn't tell her we were going to the mall?" I turned a corner and stopped just inside the cell store. She stopped and turned to the sound of my voice. "No, she doesn't know I 'm out, but if she gets home early, Nana will make an excuse, it's no big deal. She thinks I'm too frail to do these kinds of things, but I'm fine."

She flexed an arm at me and I tried to laugh, but it came out a little strangled. "Right, so I'll get fired today." I said, exasperated. She frowned then.

"I won't let her do that, I need you."

A odd twisting curled my stomach in half. She just stood there, her lips pulled into a tight line. I knew she didn't mean it that way, but my brain was turning her words over and over again in my head. "Well, that's nice to know," heat creeping up my face, I turned and pulled her into the store. "Let's find you a phone." The sooner we were done, the sooner we could get back.