Hold My Hand

Sleepless Nights

I lay there, wide awake, watching the numbers change on my alarm clock. I knew I should be sleeping, but the thought of taking Emma shopping tomorrow had me frazzled. I rolled over, pulling my pillow over my head. My first day at work had not gone as planned. No, not at all like I planned. And now I found myself the personal guardian of a blind girl.

Rolling over, I crammed my pillow over my head, my fists covering my ears. She really was a nice person, even if she was filthy rich, but this isn't what I thought I would be doing all summer. I sighed. Well, technically for two weeks, because I would just go back to being the pool boy. Just two weeks until they found someone who was trained for this kind of thing.

When I'd gotten home, my dad had asked how my day had been, and I could only mumble an unconvincing 'fine'. But I didn't feel fine. I had scared Emma, making her jump into the pool. Then she couldn't swim, and I had ruined her phone. And now, because I was just such an idiot, I had to take her shopping for a new phone.

Maybe that wouldn't be so bad, if she'd actually been out of the house at some point in the last eight years. But a severe lack of confidence had me imagining her walking into walls, or tripping over things, or worse, what if she fell off a building? Okay, that was a bit much, but I couldn't help feeling like her entire life was in my hands.

I tossed my blankets off and started pacing. I walked down the hall and into the kitchen. Maybe I just needed to think positive. I poured myself a glass of milk and shoved it into the microwave. It would be fine, it had to be. Just straight to the store, get a phone, take her home, then stay there. Yeah. I could do that.

I opened the door before the bell of the microwave could wake Derek. The last thing I needed was my dad asking me twenty questions about my job, again. "What am I doing?" I sat down at our small table, setting the cup aside and letting my head fall into my hands.

"That's an excellent question."

I almost jumped out of my chair, knocking my glass of hot milk over, splattering it across the table.

"Okay..... so I guess you're making a mess," He smiled at me. "Rupert, what's bugging you?" He grabbed a towel and started mopping up my disaster. I stood and placed the mug in the sink, "I just don't know if this job is worth the frustration."

I rubbed my elbow where I had smacked it on the glass mug. "Gee, I didn't know cleaning pools was that much of a strain? Is the pool there, like, super huge or something?" He joked.

If only the size of the pool was the problem. I couldn't tell my dad I was a babysitter. He wouldn't care, but it just seemed wrong, not manly. I was such a moron. "No dad, it's good, really, I'm just stressed, new job and all that."

"Well don't stay up too late just thinking about tomorrow, or you'll just make it that much worse." He ruffled my hair as he walked back to his room. I sighed heavily and watched him walk away.

I had no idea why my mom and dad had gotten a divorce. My dad was awesome. Of course, my mom was a wicked car wreck of a person. She was always spazzing out about something or other that really didn't matter. "Ugh." I had just reminded myself of my mom. I thought about the giant house she made us live in, the fancy cars. And for all that, she was still just so unhappy. She would never say it, but she was. She never wanted to be home, throwing herself into work all the time.

She was the worst kind of workaholic. Maybe that's what did it. I just couldn't see any reason for her to dislike Derek. It was too bad that I'd only gotten to spend my spring breaks with him. But hopefully, my stay this time would be permanent. I had absolutely no reason to go home, except to visit. I had dated a few girls, but not any one girl for very long, so I wasn't attached to any of them. They were all twittery little nitwits that my mother had set me up with anyways.

I honestly couldn't stand dating. It just seemed to upset a girl if I didn't know who had made her dress, or designed her shoes, it was just all so ridiculous to me. And none of them seemed that interested in me, just the money my mom made. You would think my mother would have been a little more selective with the girls she wanted me to date.

I ran my hands through my hair. Sometimes girls could be freaking scary. And now I was going to take one shopping. I dragged myself back to my room, and threw myself across my bed. I shut my eyes tightly, knowing that sleep would find me sooner or later. But unfortunately, it was much, much later.

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