Anticipating Hurt

Chapter 18

At a certain point during our unnamed relationship, I also had doubts not only in Nina but also in myself. I knew it was not appropriate for me to have such uncertainties during the span of time we had been together. However, it was something I could not just overlook especially that Nina was struggling as she stood on the thin line that separated her insecurity and happiness.

It was on one event that I finally acknowledged the possibility of dissonance if our uncertainties were to be left unresolved. The more I tried to avoid discord, the more it was actually rubbed on our faces.

~-~

I had picked up Nina from her apartment so we could go to the diner together. There were times when we would just meet at a certain point she found to be convenient for the two of us. But, I had convinced her the night before that fetching her from her place would not bring me inconvenience in anyway.

Before I even got to knock on her door, she had already opened the door as if she knew I was right there standing outside her apartment room. Our eyes met and I thought I almost saw a smile on her face but I might have probably been mistaken.

“Are you ready?”  I asked, noticing that she had already taken a bath with those tendrils of damp hair sticking to her face.

“Give me a minute I’ll just get my bag.”

I watched her hurry back into her small room, moving towards her bedside table. Upon reaching her bed she grabbed her sling bag and threw her mobile phone and wallet in it. She stood straight, rooted on the spot probably thinking whether she had forgotten anything. She seemed to have gotten all she needed when she turned back and made her way to the door.

“Let’s go.” She muttered, looking up at me with a small smile on her lips.

There was a smile, after all.

 ~-~

“So, how many boyfriends have you had?” Sygrid asked as nonchalantly as he could.

“Are you asking me?” the redhead retorted.

“Well, I’m sure it’s just the two of us walking alongside each other.” The head chef shrugged.

However, despite the casualness in Sygrid’s manner, he was hoping that Nina was open to such kind of topic. Even though they had been together for quite some time, he still knew that there was an invisible boundary that he could never cross unless she, herself, would let him through.

Nina focused her vision on the path ahead of them, thinking of an answer to Sygrid’s question. There was an apparent furrowing of her eyebrows, which she would usually do when in deep concentration. It was just one of the things Sygrid liked about her.

“You’re the first person who has gotten close to me.” She spoke, her voice as soft as the breeze that touched their faces. “Though, I’m now having regrets as to having relations with you.”

Sygrid’s face scrunched up at her comment, but he also knew that it was just half-meant. Even though the red-haired waitress was not so vocal about her feelings, he knew that he had grown in her in some way as well.

“How about you?” she asked so suddenly, her head turning sideways.

Her eyes held a sincere questioning look that was so unlike her. Usually, she had that mocking glint in her eyes that he tried to ignore most of the time. But, it seemed she was undeniably serious about her inquiry about his past.

“My pretty Nina is inquiring about my life. I’m so honored.” The dark-haired man jested, humor gracing his lips.

The redhead lifted her eyebrow in response to the man’s remark. Still, she did not argue about the playful statement and just waited for him to get serious about the topic.