The Question

Chapter Six

-Este’s POV-

I wake up the next morning with the book covering my face, which isn’t really rare. I usually wake up with something on my face. A book, my phone, the latest issue of some magazine that wasn’t interesting enough to keep me awake, yet not boring enough to stop reading. Usually I fall asleep with my lamp on, which actually comes in handy sometimes. It’s a lot easier to stay up late, when your parents expect your lamp to be on all night, every night.

My mom used to try and get me to turn it off, something about how it was interfering with my quality of sleep. We tried that when I was around the age of twelve, which didn’t work well. I’m not very good at falling asleep unless I’m distracted, or else I just start thinking too much and everything gets jumbled up in my head.

Anyways, I couldn’t really fall asleep. I sleep with my lamp on mainly now because I fall asleep with it on, but back then I was nervous about a lot of things and it just kind of helped knowing that even when the whole world was dark I could go somewhere where the light would always be on. It sounds somewhat metaphorical, but to me it really wasn’t.

For a while I tried listening to music, which was alright and it worked sometimes. Yet, it wasn’t the same as just knowing I have the comfort of my room. It wasn’t really a fear of being murdered or anything like a “robber that broke into the house.” It was more of just a general nervousness when I started thinking. My dad always said that my generation doesn’t think as much, just looks at our phones and never has time to stop and think. I don’t think he realizes that some of us are scared to.

I grab the book off of my face carelessly, ripping a corner off accidentally in the process. At the sound of the ripping I sit up quickly, assessing the damage. When I realize that only the corner is gone, I relax a little bit and take deep breaths to calm my heart rate. I love this book and couldn’t bear for any pages to be gone. I throw my light blue comforter off the bed, mentally willing myself to get up, although the cold makes me want to curl up more.

I get over the need to sleep in later and step onto my wooden floor, which is much colder in the mornings due to some stupid reason that makes me want to get into my bed even more. I step lightly, to avoid contact with the cold floor, to my mirror to glance at my hair. It’s a make or break moment, really. Make: leave my hair down. Break: throw it in a ponytail and go through my day knowing my hair sucks. I groan, my hair less curly and more frizzy with small knots and tangles from rolling over in my sleep.

I put the ponytail band around my hair and dig through my dresser drawers to find some athletic shorts and a t-shirt. First I’m going on a run, then practicing a little bit. I don’t want to do as much as I had planned the night before. I hate breaking plans of wanting to accomplish things, but I really don’t feel like doing anything today.

I finally find a navy pair of shorts and a t-shirt from Summer camp about four years ago. I put on my shoes, which takes me far too long, but who really has time to tie laces anyway? I then head out the door, headphones already nestled in my ears.

 

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After a "lovely" day (it was way too hot for this kind of thing) I return home and checking my phone is the first thing I do. My eyes bulge at a hefty amount of Twitter notifications. I get them off of my screen, not to say I won't check them, because some of them might be fans, but I don't want to check them on my phone. Plus, that's not really what I was looking for right now.

Besides that I have nothing. I was expecting a text from Peggie, like usual, but it's really no big deal. Really. I put my phone back down on the white countertop and grab my water bottle, which is right next to it. I quickly rinse it out and put it back with the rest of the water bottles (there’s thirteen). When you play football for as long as I have you lose a lot of water bottles for long enough that you need to buy a new one, but you find the one you lost the moment after you acquire your new one. The collection really just never ends.