Count to Three

Confessions

Dedicated to the wonderful Jazahlyze for all of her kind words and late-night conversations.

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"Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike."

- J.K. Rowling

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Chapter 6:

I still returned to the hospital every three days for therapy sessions with Sheryl. I ranted to her about the drama in the life of Camilla Harrison, and she gave me advice on how to deal with it.

When I told her how bored I was cooped up in the hotel room all day, she requested me getting a job. I thought it was a grand idea - I could make money and keep myself occupied.

"Any way to distract yourself from your past is something you should be taking part in. A job is a fantastic idea; you definitely should put in applications to as many stores and restaurants as you possibly can. Make sure you are doing something you enjoy though, you don't need added stress in your life."

I ran the idea past Jaxon, and he was more than excited.

"Now I can come visit you at work everyday! I'll be your very best customer. Where are you thinking of applying at?"

"Good question," I replied. I honestly had no clue, my creative juices had stopped flowing a while ago.

"Come to the library after school and I'll help you make a list of potential places to apply for. You know, places like Starbucks and Coldstone Creamery. It'll be fun."

Jaxon was so dead-set on helping me out, that there was no way I could say no. He said that Evelyn wanted to help as well, but I told him that one person assisting was more than enough. He seemed to accept my excuse with little hesitation.

When the end of school rolled around, I went right over to the library. I arrived before Jaxon did, so I pulled out some homework to do in the meantime.

"What a nerd you are, Camilla. Maybe I should consider getting a different friend, you are too dedicated for me," Jaxon scoffed jokingly.

"Oh, shut up. There has to be a balance in every friendship. If I wasn't dedicated to school and such, then who would be there to motivate you to finish your homework?"

He thought for a moment. "You've got yourself a good point there; I can't argue that. So," he sat down in his seat, pulling out a piece of notebook paper and a pen. "What sort of places are you thinking of? Something like Office Depot? Or maybe a waitressing job?"

"Um, not Office Depot. Maybe things like Carraba's or Macaroni Grille?"

"Oh, yum. I will definitely be visiting you often if you work there," he smiled, writing down my suggestions.

By the time we were finished, we had narrowed the list down to four: Panera Bread, Chili's, Chipotle and Chick-fil-a. I wasn't sure whether I wanted to work in the food industry, but Jaxon wanted me in a place where he can get free meals. What a pig.

"Personally, I think you should do Chili's. You can be my waitress," he wiggled his eyebrows.

I laughed. "Alright, Chili's it is then!"

---

"Okay, Eli. I'm about to show you something really cool and top secret. Are you ready?"

"Umm, okay? I guess. I don't really know what it is, but-"

"Oh, for goodness sakes. Shut up, brother. Do you want me to show you or not?"

"Fine, show me."

I pulled a letter out of my purse and pressed it up against the glass so Eli could read it.

"Hey, that's awesome! You're going to be working at Chili's now? I didn't even know you were looking for a job."

"Yeah, my therapist said I should do something productive with my time, so Jaxon and I went on a job search. And now I officially have a place to work! How cool is that?"

"I don't know, Cam. My little sister is all grown up." Eli pretended to wipe a year from his eye and he sniffled.

"That's right. I'm almost seventeen now, El. I'm a big girl, whether you believe it or not," I wore a proud smile.

"Well, I'm happy for you. When do you start?"

"Monday after school. Jaxon is so set on being my first customer, it's hilarious. He said that he will literally cry if I wait on someone before him," I laughed.

"I think it may be about time to introduce me to Jaxon. Don't come to visit me anymore of he isn't with you," Eli said, placing his hands on his hips in mock authority.

"Oh, I don't know about that. We're not dating - we're just barely friends. It's not necessary."

"Well, if he already knows about your prison-ridden brother, what's the big deal? Just stop by before Monday so I can meet him."

I sat there in silence, nervously wringing my hands together. I couldn't meet his piercing gaze.

"He doesn't know about me, does he?"

His voice was so low, I could barely hear it. What I could hear, however, was the hurt present in his tone.

"You don't understand, Eli. Please don't feel bad about it. It's just that he's the only one that doesn't know, and he's the only one that treats me like an actual human being. He cares about me, and we have a good friendship so far. I'll tell him soon, I swear. When our relationship is stronger, when I know he won't leave. Then I'll tell him."

He sat still for a while with his lips pursed in a straight line. He stared down at the table, his gaze never faltering. After a while, he spoke up.

"Excuse me, officer? I'm finished here," he gestured for the guard.

"No, Eli, please! Don't take it personally, you just don't get it! Stay, please Eli, we can have a conversation about it," I begged. I was on the verge of tears, but he still didn't turn around.

I watched him walk away until I couldn't see him any longer.

It was only one more person that walked away from me; one more person I'd never see again. I only hoped he would forgive me.

---

"Jaxon, can we talk?"

"Oh God, this sounds like a break up. Am I that bad of a friend that you have to end our friendship? Are you going to use some of those cliche lines? The whole 'it's not you, it's me' kind of thing?"

"No, of course not. It's something else."

"Something, like what?"

"Um, well, uh-"

"Spit it out, Cam, I haven't got all day."

"What'd you just call me?"

Only Eli was allowed to call me that. Only Eli.

"I called you Cam. Am I not allowed to?"

"No, just listen. I have to tell you something important. My brother..."

"You have a brother?"

"Damn it, Jaxon, can you jut let me speak?"

"Jeez, fine. Go ahead."

"My brother, he's in prison. He murdered my father right in front of me. I'm screwed up because of it, okay? You wouldn't want me as a friend. I'm sorry that I wasted your time."

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Sorry for the short chapter, just wanted to get something posted. Love you guys x