chapter 2

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 For being the first  ( and only :P ) person to comment on the last chapter x

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The next morning my plan still hadn’t changed. As I showered I thought about where the best place to go would be. If I went to town then there was a big chance i would bump into James, but the boys at the school would be too immature and I couldn’t think of anywhere else to go. To town it is then. If I bumped into James then so what he would probably be too busy working anyway, plus he technically broke up with me so he was the one that had to apologise. With a target set, I jumped out of the shower and wrapped my body in a towel and my hair in another while ruffling it on my way back to my room. Pushing open the door, I was surprised to see somebody on my bed. His wore a sad face and glanced at me as I entered the room.

“What are you doing here? Decided to come and scream some more?” I asked while redoing the towel on my head. I folded my arms across my chest as he replied.

“No, I figured I was a bit of a prick yesterday and I wanted to say sorry even though it’s still a stupid idea and I don’t think you should do it, I-“

“You do realise you’re not really helping yourself, right?” I cut him off.

He sighed and rubbed his hand over his face while standing from my bed “What I’m trying to say is you’re not going to get away with it, Carl. I mean look at you now” He gestured to my body, barely hidden by the towel that came to my mid-thigh “I think anyone would be an idiot to not notice that you’re a girl. Why put everyone through it when it’s just gunna be more hassle when they send you back here to your family, hey? What good’s it gunna do?”

“What’s the hassle? You don’t understand James. My dad is dying and he’s too weak to fight in a war. If I can give him the choice of being mauled to death or dying comfortably in his own home what do you think I’m gunna choose? Wouldn’t you do it for your dad?”

“Yes I would but it doesn’t matter. I am male. I would be ‘allowed’ to fight for him. To them you’re not able to fight, I don’t see how that’s a problem since before this began there was plenty of women in the army, but that doesn’t matter now, does it? You can’t go “

“Don’t tell me what I can’t do. You’re meant to be my best friend. You’re meant to help me. Just because I’m a girl doesn’t mean I don’t know how to survive right? I mean it’s not gunna be hard, pulling a trigger at something that’s trying to kill me. Sure the being a dude part is gunna suck but I can handle it, J. But I need you to help me do it.”

He sighed again before pulling me in to a hug. “You’re crazy. You know that right?” he asked into my hair. I wrapped my arms around his waist before nodding. Nothing else was said for a few minutes. As he pulled away he looked down at me, and then did a second take.

“You gunna get changed now?” He asked while scratching the back of his head. I blushed as I remembered the lack of clothing. Underwear was fine; I didn’t care if he saw me like that. We’d grown up like that. But knowing that I was pretty much naked right now made my cheeks flame.

“Uh, yeah, be back in a second.” I grabbed a pair of skinny jeans, some underwear and a tank top before making a mad dash down to the bathroom. I returned back to my room 15 minutes later with dry hair, fresh breath and fully clothed. I grabbed a cardigan and some comfy Uggs before slipping into them and quickly plaiting my hair. “Ready to got then?” I asked James. He looked at me in confusion.

“Go where?”

“We’re going to be creepy stalkers and learn how to act like dudes.” I smiled. He frowned and pulled out the waistband of his jeans before looking down.

“Nope, definitely still there, I don’t need to learn” He smirked.

“Well you can come with me while I learn then.” He frowned again.

“Isn’t that the whole point of me being here? You know, teach you to burp when you eat, leave the toilet seat up, walk different that sort of thing” he asked.

“Oh yeah, I can just learn from you then I won’t look like a creepy stalker. Yay” I clapped my hands with excitement that he was actually agreeing to do this.

“Ok, rule number one don’t ever do that again.” I smiled sheepishly.

Over the next 2 hours I watched James do whatever he needed to. Just by watching him I noticed little things I hadn’t before. The way he positioned his legs when he sat, the way he walked, the way he ruffled his hair, and I found myself trying to imitate him. Surprisingly it was quite hard.

 “Ughhh! Why can’t guys just act like normal people? Is it really necessary to be such a pig?” I exclaimed. James laughed at me. At the minute he was trying to teach me how guys talk ‘locker room talk’ he called it. He even seemed embarrassed about it. When I asked him all he said was “Because it’s you” yeah, as if that explains anything. By the time 5 o’clock came around I would say that I had most of the main ‘lessons’ down. James would disagree.

“Are you sure you want to do this Carls? After tomorrow there’ll be no going back. I just want you to be positively sure that you want to do this”

I rolled my eyes at him “Do you think that I would spend all day trying to learn how to be a dirty man if I wasn’t sure? I wouldn’t put myself through that torture if I wasn’t positive.” I joked” besides it’s not for me, it’s for my dad”

He smiled sadly “If your dad knew you were planning this he wouldn’t agree with you, saying that I don’t think anyone would agree with you, but hey what do I know, right? Anyway I think that’s it, we’ll just have to hope they’re all idiots, blind idiots at that.” He hugged me “I’ll see you in the morning ok. We’ll go together. Hopefully you would have changed your mind. My mum wants us all to have a family dinner; you know a kind of the last supper deal, yeah. Please change your mind Carls, love you” He whispered the last part into my hair before kissing my forehead and walking back towards his house. I smiled at his back and made my way home.

As I opened the door, silence greeted me. I pulled my key from the door and quietly popped my head around the door frame of the living room; my mum and dad were asleep on the sofa snuggled together. Dried tears on their faces. I smiled as I placed a blanket over them and made my way to the kitchen to grab something to eat. Tomorrow when my parents woke up they wouldn’t have a daughter, I hope they realise why I’m doing it and don’t hate me for it instead.

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URGH!! Got my next midwife appointment next week, she better not want anymore of my blood... needles= GAG!

On a plus note... I find out if my baby is a boy or a girl on the 5th December. Excited much = YES!

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