Thoughts from Late at Night

Regret and What Follows

I think regret can be one the most powerful words. Whenever I say I regret something, it puts the big knot inside me. I get angry and sad and restlss and just plain regretful. I don't like to look back on all the things I regret in my life because I just wish they never happened. I mean that's the boardline meaning of regret; it's to wish some event or outcome in you're life never happened. But while regret is one of the hardest pills to swallow, the after affects of the medicine can be even worse. While dealing with the inisial regret is gut renching, what follows is often soul terrying. 

I guess there are many ways to deal with this very thought, I just don't know what they are. Actually, I don't know what works for you, but I do know what works for me. The only depressing part about it is my treatment can often lead to more illness. I'm not sure what to do to fix this, so I stay stuck in my old ways, just waiting for something to pull me out of the visious cycle. Nothing has come yet though, and I think it's time for me to accept the fact that nothing will. It's time for me to be my own treatment so I can get rid of my own illness.