Dork Diaries: Tales from a Not-So-Chill Brandon

Why Mackenzie Came

"My original plan was to hide under the bed until she left, but this plan had a few obvious flaws:

1. That would be cowardly.

2. It's cramped--and not very clean--under there.

(NTS: Clean room properly instead of stuffing everything under bed, preferably before Betty finds out!)

3. They; Betty, Phil and Mackenzie; might've started looking for me. Then, either they'd find me and laugh at my cowardice, or, after not finding me, they'd freak out, call the police, and be really annoyed when they realize I've only been hiding like a coward. Then I'd never see Nikki again 'cause I'd be in boot camp or--*shudders* fOsTeR CaRe.

But seriously. After Betty and Phil, there's no one else (besides my great great uncle. He's in a nursing home somewhere). I can't mess this up by hiding under beds, or by pushing Mackenzie off a conveniently placed cliff. I do that sometimes, in a recurring dream, and I'm disturbed by how much I always enjoy watching her fall screaming into the lagoon and be devoured by the waiting crocodile.

___ ____________________________

So, I went downstairs and saw Mackenzie talking to Betty.

When I heard what she was saying, it didn't surprise me that a nice chunk of it was lies.

'North Hampton didn't live up to my expectations, so I came back to Westchester. It's a good thing I did! Brandon didn't know what to do without me. Oh, there you are, Brandon!'

It was too late now to escape. 'Hey, Mackenzie.'

She handed me a card. 'I was totes going to give this to you at the shelter, but it completely slipped my mind.'

The card was blue. I opened it.

'I'm having a party to kick off summer vacation!' Mackenzie squealed, as if I couldn't read. 'You HAVE to be there.'

'Oh.' I glanced at Betty, silently asking if I really HAD to.

She nodded, which meant, 'Yes. She may be a horrible person who hates dogs, but it's the polite thing to do.'

'Um, who else is going?'

Betty shot me a look.

'Patrick, Jessica, Jason, Ryan, Bethany--everyone who matters,' said Mackenzie. 'Oh, and Nikki.'

'Nikki? Nikki Maxwell?'

'Yes, that one. You're coming, right?'

I'm really surprised that she invited Nikki. Is there a hidden plot? Is this a new Mackenzie scheme? Who knows?

Oh well, it's not like I had a choice anyway, with Betty giving me that look.

'Okay, I'll be there.'

Mackenzie grinned like a piranha. Then, she said 'bye', very much how I imagine a talking piranha would, and left.

'Young man,' Betty started, as soon as the front door closed. 'Was that really necessary?'

Whenever Betty calls me 'young man', I know it's time for a lecture and develop a mild case of stomachache, like I've had one too many Cupcakery cupcakes. The best way to make it stop is to nod in agreement at everything she says until the lecture's over.

Keeping my mouth shut was more difficult this time around.

Betty was saying that I should've been more considerate of Mackenzie's feelings, that asking for a guest list was implying that her company wasn't enough or something.

If you ask me, Mackenzie should be more considerate of Nikki's--actually everyone's feelings. She only cares about herself! This party is probably a cover-up for...something very selfish and very evil!

Instead of saying THAT, I just nodded and looked remorseful.

But I really wanted to say it.

'Some people are sensitive to little things like that,' Betty said, wrapping up the mini-lecture. 'The poor girl could be crying right now as she walks home.'

Probably not. And I'm pretty sure Mackenzie was driven home in her limo.

But I didn't say that either, of course.

Betty has met Mackenzie Hollister only once. She doesn't know how Mackenzie tried her hardest to make Nikki's life miserable for the past nine months, how I watched without being able to do anything about it because Betty raised me to be a sap and because my dad told me something when I was seven.

They were fighting, him and my mom. She threw a dictionary at him. I think it was the kind college students use. It was big, I remember. When It smacked Dad in the head, it cut him. I remember his blood dripping on the floor and staining the carpet.

So, he was angry. And in pain. He picked up a toy truck I had unwisely left lying around. I knew he wanted to throw it at Mom, but he put it down and left the house for a few hours. When he came back, he was calmer. He pulled me aside and told me how much he had wanted to kill my mother earlier. Then he told me to never hurt a girl no matter how, um, unpleasant she is.

That first bit is why I need therapy. The second is the reason I've never pushed Mackenzie off a cliff (outside of my dream)."