Dork Diaries: Tales from a Not-So-Chill Brandon

Why...

"This is so weird.

It's Saturday, and instead of--doing Saturday stuff, I'm writing about my amazing life. Again.

Why? 

I could be--doing something else. 

Maybe I just want to have more in common with Nikki?

Hey, we go to the same school, we're in the same grade, we're in the same band, we're on the same newspaper staff (and we're both ridiculously good looking) but it's still not enough, right?

Exactly! But now we both write about stuff, so now we're soulmates!

I think it's safe to say I need serious help.

Anyway, about last night. Remember how Betty invited Nikki over for dinner? That's where we left off.

Nikki was complimenting Betty and saying nice polite things like:

'Thanks for inviting me.'

and 'This spaghetti is SO good.'

Betty was gushing:

'You've done so much for Fuzzy Friends and Brandon, Nikki. It's the least I could do!'

And Phil was giving me not-so-subtle winks. He must've guessed that Nikki was the reason I had (unwisely) asked him for girl advice.

Betty: Is there something in your eye, Phil?

Phil(eye twitching like he has a tic): No.

Nikki(smiling confusedly): ...

Me(shrugging apologetically): Hmm...

So, that's just a small sample of dinner's embarrassments.

You want to hear what else happened? Well I'm not telling you, old notebook! 

(If I don't write about it or talk about it or think about it or eat a creampuff or take a photo of a creampuff, the incidents of last night might cease to exist.

We can always hope, right?)

You couldn't imagine my relief when dinner (aka the unmentionable incident) was over. I showed Nikki to the door, eager to get her far away from my embarrassing grandparents.

'That was really fun, Brandon,' she said.

'Really?' I asked, smirking.

'Of course!' she said, smirking back.

Then we just stood there awkwardly.

I know this is weird, but I didn't want to be the one to say 'bye' first. Since we were just standing there saying nothing, I also thought it would be the perfect time to, y'know, kiss. Again. 

Without it being under the guise of charity.

But I got cold feet, as usual. 

One of these days, some guy who's cooler, smarter, and not a chicken will sweep Nikki J. Maxwell off her feet, and I'll probably just stand there and watch.

Nikki cocked her head to the side. 'Hey, what are you thinking about?'

'Spaghetti,' I said.

It was true! While thinking about how pathetic I am, I was also thinking about spaghetti.

'Um, alright, Creampuff. See you tomorrow!'

'Yeah...' I chuckled weakly.

Then Nikki left.

____________ ____ _________________

The spaghetti reminded me of when she first came to WCD.

I was eating lunch one day, feeling kind of down because, hey, I was at school.

Then there was this loud clattering sound and someone screaming, 'Noooooooooo!'

I turned around and saw someone from my bio class. She was on the floor, covered in food.

My day became instantly better. Not because I realized I had found the girl of my dreams, but because it was kind of...funny.

Okay, it wasn't. I'm just a horrible person.

Anyway, it stopped being funny when Mackenzie started laughing her annoying Wicked Witch of the West laugh. Then I knew Nikki was her new Dorothy Gale (aka target). 

So, I ran over, helped Nikki out, gave her a crumpled napkin, and we've been friends ever since.

Black comp notebook, If she ever found out that I had been one of the immature losers laughing as she slipped in a puddle of milk and cried--

This is why I hate myself whenever I think of cherry jubilee. And slippery milk puddles. 

And spaghetti."