Chapter 45

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When I woke I figured I had to explain to my mother what happened. I picked my phone up and was about to dial, when my phone rang. I called that fate and used it as an excuse not to call my mom. "hello?" I asked. "Ellen! Holy shit I heard what happened." said Harry. "oh, ya." I said. "are you ok?" he asked. "yup, I'm fine, just a bit scratched up." I said, we talked for a while, until he had to go and I hung up.

I called my mom and when she picked up she was furious. "hi mom." I said. "are you ok?" she asked. "ya, I'm fine, I got cut up a bit and kicked in the arm." I said. "what the hell are you doing in Australia?" she asked, I explained Everything to her. "I don't believe you." she said. "fine, don't." I said and hung up.

"isnt your mum going to kill you?" asked Nathan from beside me. I shook my head. "nah, she's a sissy at heart and would never hurt me." I said, he shrugged. "as long as she doesn't take you away from me." he said and pulled me towards him. Then he winced, I got up and he pouted. "oh relax." I said, he just watched as I went to my bed and shoved on my white cast.

Of course while I'd been sleeping all the boys Had signed and decorated it with some very...uh..colorful language and pictures. We had been delayed on our tour, obviously with Nathan as he was. But we would be on our way to the UK and our first stop soon. The tickets were still the same, so no angry fans. The fans were all actually sad and well, extremely pissed off and very, very grateful to me for saving nathans life. I couldn't believe I'd killed someone.

I never thought I had it in me, like I would threaten it all the freaking time cause it's me, but I never really thought I would. I hadnt even meant to, it was an accident. Pure instinct took over as I threw the knife, but hey, it saved nathans life and probably mine as well, so it was ok.

The man had died in the hospital, he was wanted by many people, part of a gang and no family came forward so no charges were pressed. Thank god, I could have actually gone to jail for that, but I was from America and dating a famous popstar, so no one wanted to touch the case, way more trouble then it was worth.

I looked at Nathan and smiled. The doctor had him on pain meds so it didn't really hurt him that much. He was healing pretty fast because there was a lot of damage to different places, but none so bad in one place that he couldn't be released soon. "I'm going out nath, I'll be back soon." I said, he gave me a pouty face. "oh relax, I'll be back soon." I said, then walked over and kissed him.

I said bye and left. I walked outside to find there were tents and still lots of fans and paps. When I walked out a bunch ran over and said hi and everything. I smiled and talked to them while walking. I got to a drugstore and bought movies and other stuff. Then went back to the hospital. "ma'am..." started the nurse at the desk. "are we really going to go through this again?" I asked and walked passed. I got to the room and popped in a movie and cuddled up to Nathan.

Jay and Maggie had showed up and they jumped in the other bed to watch with us. It was some really cheesy horror movie and it was so bad it was funny. After we watched a few crappy movies and a few very, very boring days later the doctor said Nathan was free to leave as long as he was careful and we left.

The boys said hi to EVERY fan that was outside and then we got on the bus and left. We caught a plane to the UK and that's how I found myself staring at siva as he sat on his bed at his house and he looked like shit. We'd had a day off and he'd been with his family. He wasn't answering anyones calls, texts, tweets, Facebook, nothing. So I freaked and went to his house. I made everyone wait in the bus as I went in to see him.

His skin didn't hold it's usual ebony radiance and his hair was awful, which really said how fucked he was. "siva what's wrong?" I asked, he shook his head and I sat next to him. If siva was a girl, at this point I would have put my arm around her shoulder and told her everything would be alright if she told me. Of course siva was neither a girl, or smaller then me, so I put my arms around his stomach and hugged him.

"siva what's wrong?" I asked again, a bit more quietly. "I...I just don't fucking know." he said. "siva, please tell me what's wrong, if you tell me it'll be ok." I said, he shook his head. "no, no it won't Ellen." he replied, ah shit. Well, he seemed bad, so I had to use some on my tactics I use on my girlfriends when they cry to get them to admit what happened then make them feel better.

"I'm sure it's not even your problem." I said, how he answered would tell me if it had to do with him or someone he loved. "well...I...I don't know, it's a band problem." he said, ok, one of the boys. "ya, girls suck." I said hoping to get him to either laugh at saying my gender sucked or have him admit it was a girl issue. "it's not girls, it's lack of girls." he sighed, wait, what? Lack of girls? All the boys had girlfriends, what could possibly be lack of girls? Then it hit me, lack of a little siva.

"wishing you had a kid?" I asked, sure I figured it out. "what? fuck no!" he said, I pouted, he was confusing the shit out of me. "uhm, are you and nareesha ok?" I asked. "ya, we're just fine, but it's not that girl I'm worried about, it's others." he said, whoa, ok, he's worried about girls, plural, that have to do with the boys, oh fuck. "why would you say that?" I asked trying to weed it out of him. "and I really like them to, I don't want to see them go, they're like part of the band they've been around so long." he said

Completely ignoring my question and just continuing to rant. "they're always so nice and they get on real well with nare, what are we Gunna do without them?" he ranted on, ok, so he was talking about Kelsey and michelle, cause they'd been around a long time, not me and Maggie. Ok, I had to make an informed decision, sometimes if you guess and say you already know then they'll tell you. "ah, Tom and max Gunna break up with michelle and Kelsey, I know." I said. "they are? That's good, they can't keep doing this behind their backs." he said.

Oh fuck, Tom and max are cheating? They're cheating?!?!?!?! "I know, it's horrible that they're cheating." I said. "especially cause it's them, it's weird." he said, weird for Tom and max to cheat? Really? So, to find out stuff like when and where, I merely acted like I know, it works with girls. "ya and I can't believe when they started to." I said. "ya, it's been nearly a year and none of us knew, I found out last night, when did you?" he asked.

"oh a while ago." I said, a year? A fucking year? Jesus Christ! No wonder max called off the engagement. "and that it's always them, always the same, it's not even lack of good sex between them, they're in love." he said, Tom and max are cheating and they're in love with who they're cheating on their girls with, oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck this is really, really bad. "you haven't told anyone right?" he asked, I shook my head.

"good, I don't think we should, I think we have to leave it up to them." said siva, I nodded. "I agree." I said. "now come on, everyone is worried sick." I said, he sighed and let me take him to the bus. Everyone said they were happy to see him and we chilled and had a beer. We all talked and when the boys went to do their show Maggie and stayed back.

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