Contempt at First Text ~KYLUX TEXTS

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Hux slammed his fist down on the table causing the assortment of flowers in front of him to rattle in their ceramic pots.

"What do you mean, they were all sold out?" he hissed vehemently.

Phasma, unfazed by Hux's outburst, replied irritably, "I could've at least snatched up some shitty, miles-away-from-the-stage tickets if you weren't so damn indecisive."

"Hey," Hux warned.

Phasma's hands flew up defensively. "You snooze you lose, bitchy-poo."

Hux and Phasma's favorite band, Starkiller, was playing nearby, but Hux had contemplated going to see them in concert for way longer than necessary, missing both his and Phasma's window of opportunity to go. He was dangerously close to getting unfriended.

"Seriously, Hux. You could have the opportunity to fuck Tom Hiddleston served to you on a silver platter and you'd still find a con to it," Phasma argued.

"He's too polite!" Hux countered.

"See? You find something negative about every possible exciting activity, General Buzzkill," Phasma stated. "When I find tickets on some sketchy website the night before the show, you're not invited."

"I can charm my way in," Hux retorted.

Phasma let out an unbelieving snort. "Oh please. One look at you and the security guards will mistake you for a wet rat and toss you into the sewer."

"A fancy rat," Hux corrected. "They're domesticated and extremely adorable."

"Whatever floats your boat, rodent," Phasma sighed, dismissing the conversation. "I'll just be off wallowing in self pity–due to my mistake of listening to you–over by the fountain displays if you need me. And please don't need me."

She sauntered off, and Hux wouldn't even dare to think of bothering her, especially considering the way she dramatically looked back over her shoulder and cast a cold glare his way.

After Phasma left Hux to his plants, his mind drifted toward the mysterious, horny stranger that he'd encountered via text the night before. The area code of the number was the same as his own, indicating that he was relatively nearby. Hux had the sudden thought, What if he came to shop here and I didn't even know it was him?

The thought was preposterous, but it didn't stop Hux from observing every male customer a little bit more closely than usual.

~

Hux arrived home with significantly more energy than the previous night. A, because his work load was primarily arranging plants on display (hardly anything to break a sweat over), and B, his mind was plagued with thoughts of the wrong number incident. It was extremely silly for a sensible man such as Hux to be obsessing over something as ridiculous as that, but a poor sex life really seems to lower one's morals.

One brief shower later, Hux was perched on his bed, finger hovering over the day old conversation. His mind raced at what he was considering to do. It would definitely be a thrilling experience to throw all caution to the wind and engage with a complete stranger who happens to live around you and also happens to be a homosexual man, which is what you are. Of course, Hux had some standards. If he discovered this stranger was a guy any older than forty, or any younger than twenty, he would have to break it off. He secretly hoped that it was someone very close to his age so he would feel less awkward about this particular life choice, but upon realizing that he was not in a fairy tale world where things just magically worked out, he just accepted that he'd have to take what he can get.

I can't believe I'm about to do this, Hux thought to himself, miserably. You're absolutely insane. Utterly despicable, he scolded himself before opening up the conversation and typing out a message.

Hux hesitated over the send button. Here goes nothing, you pathetic freak, his mind supplied. The message made a little swoop sound as it sent and delivered.

Hux: Did you manage to find your real knight in shining leather, or are you still in the market?

Hux chucked his phone across the bed and recoiled in horror at what he just did. Fuck, FUCK.

What didn't help Hux's panic and regret was the buzz of his phone signaling that the recipient had already seen and answered his suggestive message. Shit, shit, shit.

With the shaky hands of a prepubescent twink about to embark on his first ever adventure to xxHyperDrivexx.com: The Galaxy's Highest Quality Buttsex!, Hux reached for his phone and peered nervously at the response to his vulgarity.

Unknown number: u interested or sumthn? ;)

Hux's heart beat so fast that he feared he'd have to switch over to his call settings and dial 911.

Hux: Just friendly curiousity ;)

Unknown number: i'll have u kno it was the guy at the bars fault he messed up putting his number in my phone

Hux: Probably drunk off his ass, huh? You have no sense of danger, do you? You know he could've been a murderer, right?

Unknown number: to many questions. u sound like a mother or something lol. if ur a mother, im not interested. now if ur a daddy...;)

Hux: **too, and I'm a splendid father of 147, as of today.

Unknown number: wtf??

Hux: You heard me. They're all very healthy thanks to my precise watering schedule. Not a single withered brown spot to be seen.

Unknown number: ????should I call child services??????

Hux: I'm glad you're concerned about my children, but they're all as perfectly cared for as plants could be.

Unknown number: ...

Hux: What, did you really think I had 147 HUMAN children? I'd have to be more of a whore than YOU.

Unknown number: ok excuse me im not a whore, dickwad. at least i have standards unlike u with ur plants and ur sadness

Hux: Gasp! Where are these standards you speak of? If I remember correctly, just last night you were wanting a complete stranger's dick in your ass. And for your information, I'm very much happier with my plants than you'll ever be with some drunk stranger who probably gives zero fucks about you. He probably doesn't even remember you exist.

Unknown number: fuck u bitch. think u can do better?

Hux: Please, I KNOW I can do better.

Unknown number: fine. get laid in the next week and maybe i'll believe u

Hux: Maybe I will..

Unknown number: i'll need proof so dont forget ;)

Hux: Whatever, loser.

Loser: whatever, loner.

Hux gently put his phone down on the side table and stared at the wall, slowly sinking down against his pillow as he thought to himself, What the fuck have I done?