Meeting Death

5

I am now 89 years old. I have lost count of all the times I have met Death. Between pets, friends, and family we have had many occasions to meet. One could say we are quite close. Each time she visits she stays a little longer. I have come to appreciate her company. Our conversations, although somewhat one-sided, have enabled me to move forward through all the loss that comes with life. She is my most treasured companion in times of struggle. Soothing my soul and providing peace.

Sometimes I wonder if Death visits others. Does she grace others with her calm? When I told my mom about Death at age six, she'd frowned, checking me for fever. I haven't told anyone about Death since. Not even my husband. A dog of mine died while we were dating and out of curiosity, I asked him what he thought death would look like if they were a person. He'd shrugged, replying with something about the grim reaper. That was the closest I ever got to telling him about Death.

Today, Death sits across from me at my kitchen table. The morning sun making her glow angelically.

"Good morning, Death."

"Good morning, Little One." This is the first time I have heard Death's voice. It's sweet, like rain. Her endearment makes me feel like the six-year-old me that first met Death so long ago. Young and free.

"How are you?" I ask, just like two old friends reconnecting.

"Happy to be a part of this experience," she smiles, laughter dancing on her lips. "And you, my Little One?"

"Enjoying this beautiful morning," I smile back. "May I ask you something, Death?"

"Of course."

"Why me? Why do I see you and others don't? Do you visit others?"

"I visit everyone. Whether they see me or not is their choice. They must be willing to open their hearts or be ready to pass on. You have always opened your heart to me. You are a rare treasure. I myself was quite surprised when we first met. A living had not seen me in quite some time and I had become used to my solitude."

"Solitude? What about the people you take?"

"I do not take, I guide. And often they are quiet. I get the occasional curious one that asks me all sorts of questions," she chuckles. "But most are ready to discover what comes next for themselves and are in no need of conversation."

"And what comes next, Death? Where do you guide those ready to pass on?"

"That is for you to discover. Describing it would not mean much, as experiencing it will be much more profound."

"Is it a happy place, at least? Are they happy?"

"Yes, Little One. It is a place of joy and love."

"For all? Even criminals?"

"Yes. The universe does not discriminate based on how one lives their life."

I look out the window and comfortable silence blankets us. Birds sing in the trees, crickets chirp in the grass, a ladybug crawls across the glass. I remember my life. Beautiful and full. There were ups and there were downs, but life has been good to me. I am happy with the life I have lived.

"Are you ready to discover for yourself," Death inquires, "what comes next?"

I stare at her beautiful blue dress. The color of the sky. The color of my husband's eyes, my children's eyes, and many of my grandchildren's eyes. The color of my bedspread and the flowers in my garden. The color of the sky.

Calm fills me. Death is here for me  I think as I stare into her eyes, endless like the night sky.    

"Yes. I believe I am."