visions

above fear

when i was little, i thought that when

you grew up, you became fearless.

and maybe that's partially true, i've

grown up and i'm no longer scared

of the dark, i'm less scared of going

up on stage, and i'm far less scared

of falling and getting myself hurt. but

even though these fears are lesser

or no longer issues at all, new ones

have replaced them and sometimes,

i think that these fears are just as bad

as the ones before, if not even worse.

because even if i'm not afraid of the

dark anymore, right now i'm sitting on

my couch with a blanket over my legs,

listening to seether and staring out the

window pushing off the sense of doom

that seems to be drawing closer to me

every single day. i've used up too many

11:11 wishes and 22:22 wishes just to

see if i can quell this fear back down;

i've tossed coins into fountains, looked

for shooting stars, closed my eyes under

bridges with trains going over them; i've

written far too much poetry and far too

many letters. still the fear plagues me.

no, as grown-ups we aren't afraid of

simple things, like the dark and the cold

and being alone. but we aren't above

fear; nobody is. i am an adult, or at

least i am becoming one, and i know

that i am deathly scared of your love.