complicated; jonah marais {COMPLETED}

15. hell

The rest of summer flew by with a blink of an eye. I wasn't ready to go back to school, I was a senior and I already knew it was gonna be hell. Don't get me wrong I used to love school but nowadays school is so draining and time consuming. The older you get the more boring the same routine gets. Like think about walking up supper early getting ready then sitting in a hot classroom switching every hour just to sit in another desk in another hot classroom. Then when you get home around 3:30 you do homework for two hours sometimes even longer. Then you eat dinner, take a shower, and go to bed just to do the same exact thing 5 days in a row.

I get out of bed putting on my favorite pair of black jeans and Jonahs old baseball jersey I took a few weeks ago. He knew i had and he could care less, and I know by wearing it everyone will assume what they have been assuming for years. I put my long hair in a high pony tail throwing my favorite baseball hat over my head putting my hair in the hoop. I checked my bag to make sure I had everything then slung it over my shoulder. I sigh and walk down the stairs. Jonah was already sitting at the table with a cup of coffee to his lips. He looked up at me and smirked setting his coffee down. "nice jersey, is that your boyfriend's?" I shook my head "no, some duecebag just left it here so I confiscated it" he rolls his eyes and chuckles. He stands up and grabs the other coffee he had and handed it to me. "got this for you, ready?" I nod and take a sip of the warm coffee. I followed behind him hoping into his dad's old truck. The stereo played old country since that was the only station that came through this early in the morning. We pulled into the school parking lot and already I knew this was gonna be hell. I sigh as he parks, I turn to him with a frown but he sends me a smile. His sweet smile "this is our last year okay? Let's make the best of it" I nod and step out the car, I already felt the eyes but I waited for Jonah to round the car. We began to walk and Jonah threw his arm over my shoulder. I felt myself gasp slightly, he's never done that in public. I gulp quietly and pretend that it's nothing. We into the school and sit in the usual spot waiting for the first bell to go off. Jonah and I have a few classes together, it isn't hard to have the same classes especially since this is such a small school.

Unexpectedly Jonah rested his head on my shoulder, I don't know if he's doing this on purpose but he's making fall for him in slightest ways. Like the way he kissed me a few months go and the way he held me that one night, and when he put his arm over my shoulders walking into school it was like he's claiming me but without the words or labels. But at the same time I can already tell this is a one sided feeling. I feel like he only makes those moves because he's bored, and has no one else there for him too. I sigh as the first bell rings. We part ways and start the first day of senior year.

After school

Finally the first dreadful day was over, I plopped down on my comfortable queen size mattress and drifted off into sleep.

Jonah's POV.

I walked into school with my arm around her shoulder, I felt her flinched but shrug it off. I wanted to make sure that all the boys didn't know to mess with her because she was mine even though she really isn't. I don't want to keep sending her mixed signals because that seems to be all I'm really doing I like her, I like her a lot but I don't have enough balls to tell her that. But then again I don't really know what these feelings are I don't know if they're real or if I'm just bored I don't know what I'm doing with any of this. Do I really have a crush on my best friend? That's crazy isn't it you're not supposed to have feelings for your best friend. When we finally sat down in the spot we always went to I felt the need to put my head on her shoulder. I don't know why but I did I felt a French once again she's not used to this and I'm not either. Maybe we aren't supposed to be like this. Maybe we are only supposed to be friends. maybe I'm just overthinking everything. What if this is just a one-sided feeling? do I really like her? Does she really like me? Are we both just bored? Do you even understand what anything is? What was even going on I'm confused do I like her? Am I bored? Like what's up? I don't even know what's going on in my own head.

Skips til after school

I dropped off Lucy because I had to make a quick run to the grocery store for my mother we were out of milk and she wanted me to get more but I told Lucy I'd be right back. When I got there she was passed out in her bed I couldn't help but smile at her I don't know why but just seeing her asleep and peaceful made me smile. I slowly sit down next to her trying not to make the bed move as much. She moves slightly but it didn't seem like I affected her too much. After a few minutes of just sitting I decided it doesn't hurt to take a nap too, I laid down next to her taking the small throw blanket from the edge of her bed covering both of us and ended up falling asleep next to her in a few minutes.

I felt like a few minutes was a few hours and next thing I know her mother was waking the both of us up saying dinner was ready downstairs. We slowly both make our way down the stairs and into the kitchen sitting down at the table with her mother. Lucy then opens her mouth and says "when did you get here Jonah?" I think for a few seconds but her mother answered for me "he arrived little bit after 4" I nod and smile at her mother. She smiled at me then turns to her mom. "so how was the first day of school?" She asks sweetly. "boring" Lucy says and I agree. I don't care too much school it was all about baseball and music for me. Her mother frowns moving in from the subject. "any new boys at school?" Lucy shakes her head "same old same old" she mumbles. Her mother turns to me "how about you Jonah, any girls?" I shake my head and laugh a little "I'm not looking for anyone" she nods suspiciously but continues on. After dinner Lucy walked me out to my car. "sorry about my mom-" I interrupted her "luck it's fine" I wrap my arms around her pulling her close setting my chin on top of hers. She wrapped her arms around my torso "I'm used to it plus your mom's sweet, she's just looking out for the both of us" she stays quiet but I knew what she was thinking. We stayed in the position for a little bit but when we pulled apart I only wanted to pull her back in. I kissed her forehead "goodnight lu-baby" I whispered. "goodnight" she's says.

She watches as I pull out the drive, she waves before I disappear behind the wall of trees that separate her yard from the road. Maybe the reason I'm not looking for someone is because the one I need is already there, she always there. Maybe I don't need to look because she's right next store, or in the passenger seat of my car. God why does love have to be so complicated.

💭