Charmless

Chapter Two: The Confusion

Chapter Two: The Confusion (No, really. Prepare your own selves, too. It gets worse as you go on.)

Zombie Gurl

Whee! Flora danced around in circles... Around... Circles... In a ... bubble. Whee!

It was quite funny, too, because she couldn't feel her legs. Or her arms. Or her sanity. But that's okay. Because she could still hear. Yes, she could still hear the voices, ringing around from outside her bubble.

"Do these shoes match?"

"I think he's going to choose me!"

"I have to go potty."

Gee, you'd think they're trying to impress some prince from once upon a time. It was too bad, because everybody knows that fairytales don't exist. Or, at least they didn't for her.

If that had been true, then she would've woken up by now. Searched for her prince or king or whoever, and then slapped him clear across the face for ruining her childhood. For getting Sleeping Beauty pregnant. While still in a dead sleep. Hah!

She would've mutilated the sucker.

"Oh, they're coming!"

"How do I look?"

"You're wearing a paper bag. How do you think you look?"

"Shh!"

Flora cringed in her sleep. The pitch in these girls' voices... Did hers sound like that? She didn't know. It had been so long...

All the sudden there was an awful scream and a sound like a flopping fish. A thud. "I saw a bug," one of them said.

Pfft, if that had been Flora, she wouldn't have screamed. Bugs were her friends and kept her warm at night. Well, most of them did.

"It's quite all right, um, Cereal."

What kind of hungry people name their kid cereal? Well, yours named you after plants...

Good point.

But still-oh dear cheesecakes where is that smell coming from?! It's... She sniffed. It smells like... fish.

Fish Breath

Oh gosh! He knew her name! He knows her name! He will always know her name! Hopefully.

She "accidentally" let go of the chandelier and screamed as she fell, hoping he'd catch her. He did. That's hot.

Princey dude glanced up at the ceiling. "How did you get up there?"

She just shrugged and smiled all timid-like, bowing her head and wishing the silly servants hadn't shoved a shirt on her earlier. The customs of these so-called humans will never cease to amaze her. Modesty. Pah!

Cereal let out a slow breath and was pleased when the Prince went utterly still. "Thank you for catching me," she whispered in his ear, and breathed through her mouth a little to be all hot and awesome.

He gave her back a weak smile. "All in a... day's work." And then...

He dropped her on the floor and vomited into the hallway.

Well, that's not very romantic, Cereal huffed inside of her brains. She waited for him to finish and cleared her throat, eyeing the 'King.' Such a short, stumpy man... "Why are we here?" she asked him.

To be honest, she didn't really care for a reply. Because hello! Being in a castle is enough to be thankful for (thank you, sweet cheesecake), but it seemed like a proper thing to ask, and Cereal wanted to be seen as proper by proper people. So she tried her very hardest to kind of pay attention as he answered her. "Have any of you ladies heard of a fair maiden in the land who goes by the name of Cindy?"