Welcome to my poorly-assembled profile. I try to write stuff that you shouldn't feel embarrassed to read (because something tells me you don't want your friends to know about your fictional fetish with rich CEOs). Here's some stuff about me!

Alias: I'll let you know when the cops stop sniffing around.

Location: Prison, again. One too many Twinkies can really do a lot to the subconscious.

Age: Too old for what I'm worth.

Sex: Is how people die. No, really. Anyone who has had sex and died is now . . . dead.

Hobbies: Writing. Dancing. Pondering over life's big questions. Like . . . The issue of memory loss, and why it seems to make people. . . Uh. . .

By the way, if you know anyone who has ever EXPLODED from not peeing . . . let me know please. It's for science, I SWEAR.

Extent of my intelligence: I can pretend to be all smarty-pants with regard to fancy words (pinkies out, man) and telling people what they want to hear . . . but let's face it once socially inept always socially inept and once a redneck always inbred. Let's hear it for cheesecake!

OK so I didn't really tell you anything about me. And you know what that means? I'm a mystery. So by not telling you anything you can assume that I purposely exposed that trait of mine for your personal benefit of KNOWLEDGE. Either that or you can conclude that I'm completely nuts and I should never be allowed access a dating website.

Except for Farmer's Only. Maybe.

And now for a story!

once upon a time
in a world stuffed with cheap rhymes
there lived to be a great queen
she resembled a baked bean
that is all.
  • Location:
    2nd star to the 1st and straight on till sober
  • Joined:
    3 years ago

Reading Lists

4 Published Works

Featured work.


Social data: 194 reads. 5 votes. 8 comments.

Description: You love princesses. I love princesses. But do you ever wonder if they love each other? One prince on a mission. One missing damsel who may not exactly be in distress. And five neurotic not-quite princesses that just might drive everyone insane. On...

Other Works by balooba.


7.2K 381 142

I get it. You're sad with your daily life so you've come onto Wattpad hoping to find your fairytale endi...

The Adventures of Rat Man and Spider Dude

The Adventures of Rat Man and Spider Dude

272 10 10

What happens when a superhero of the BC era teams up with an ambitious super-boy who's missing a few Mar...

How to Shop for Eggs

How to Shop for Eggs

161 13 12

"The setting is a an RPG-style world with swords and magic, where adventurers form a party to challenge the demon king's right to rule. But, the adventurers all have beautiful breasts, enormous breasts, and bikini armor!!"
      . . . No judgment there.
      I'm actually more concerned that you have Okusama ga Seito Kaichou on the list. But what do I know.
      Looking forward to a few others, though, like God Eater and Rokka no Yuusha. But 21 different shows with 2 additional movies? :o Best wishes with that one. Too many late nights for me haha
tashar13 posted a message to balooba
Marry me and raise our three children, John, Mary and little Jonny. We can rule the world, if you just say yes.

It took a while to get all those characters introduced... But since all that is seemingly out of the way I believe 2nd season will live up to the hype. Mostly because of, well, Soo-won's glorious appearances, but I'd be shocked if they managed to mess it up somehow.
      I still kept my watching of this show hidden from most everyone I knew. Something just felt.. traitorous, telling others it's about a young girl on a mission with like six guys.

This the shoe one, right? It is! Sometimes we all need some extra time by ourselves to grow up and prepare to handle problems like we were born for it. Though I do say that SOME PEOPLE really need to just let others take care of them so that the world can spin round a little smoother. I'm talking to you Geezer--you really terrified me when you got out that razor. You haven't shaved yourself in three years, and I'm NOT going to let you chicken-pie-yourself to death just because you feel like you are entitled to independence. People like you piss me off the most, with the way you judge others with your selectively-blind eyes, and how you never EVER wash your hands, yet you INSIST on washing the dishes when you think that splashing them around in water with those same bacteria-ridden hands is sufficient well GUESS WHAT IT'S NOT and THIS IS WHY people DIED in their 30s from DISEASES AND--ah, right forgot we're talking about anime here. Phew. Yeah, good movie. I'd watch it again one day if I came across it once more. It really had some beautiful background stuff going on.

Oh, BUT THE REAL QUESTION is still to come. . . Does each book of 50 Shades of Grey stand on its own? Ehh? Ehhhhh? Any biters?
      lol Sorry I had to. Somebody did.
      Though I don't think anybody here (the place where authors learn to get better) has read 50 Shades. Probably. I hope. I mean, I had only just read "Twilight fanfiction" and was in and outta that room faster than a college boy on spring break.
      Seriously, though, wasn't that made into a trilogy? Can't we just use that as a good example on what not to do, especially after you took the time to emphasize that romance fun at the end.
      One day, I would love to see if I could try working on a series. But, then I suppose that would mean I'd have to actually finish a book first. *sigh* Priorities, you know what I mean?