Invisible [John Shelby Fan Fiction, Peaky Blinders, Fan Fiction]

THE LOVE WE HAD STAYS ON MY MIND

1916. Small Heath, Birmingham

Dear John,

You said you would be home by christmas, two years ago. I am alone and empty without you.

You are fighting something that does not need to be fought. There will be no winners, that I can promise. But if you come home then you shall be a winner with me.

Why do you not write to me anymore Johnny? Did I do something in my other letters to make you stop. Please John, I have not heard from you in over six months.

Do you even open my letters? Or do you just look at them. Or better yet, you just do not care.

I need you and I want you. But I can not have you because you are married.

I have been remembering the good times we used to share. My thoughts of you don't have an ending and memories of you are everywhere.

You win some and you lose some. I lost and I learned.

Lately, Johnny, I have been thinking how good it was when you were here. How I wish you were here.

Early this morning when I opened my eyes, that wholesome took me by surprise. I guess you meant more then I realised. The love we had stays on my mind.

And maybe, so will I. Patrick Steele came home this October, he was relieved from duty, he was fighting in the trenches and just lost eye-sight in one eye suddenly. He was discharged honourably.

We have started to speak to each other. We often go into town to enjoy coffee together or alcohol.

He has changed a lot and I really think I could like him, Johnny. The utter most strange, right?

Enough about me. Martha is doing great, your fourth child was born. Congratulations! Nobody thought you would be the first to have four children out of us two.

Your children miss their daddy, as does Martha. She does miss you a lot. That I shall not hide from you.

I would love to write to you some more but Patrick has invited me round to his manor. I do not know who what to do or how to act. He is rich and I have gypsy blood.

I guess that I will try my very hardest to fit in. Try to disclose the fact that I am now a Peaky Blinder.

I am guessing that you did hear that my father died. Well as my brother is already a Peaky Blinder, I took my dad's place. It was a shame you could not make it to the funeral. He would have liked that a lot.

John Shelby, please give me a letter back. I need to know that you are safe and okay. It's all I need to know.

When this war is all over and you walk out of it. I might not be the girl you once knew and you will not be the boy I was knew but we will still be there for each other.

Who knows, I might be married to Patrick or betrothed at least. However, this is not a day when I regret that kiss with you John. But I believe that you do and you will not leave Martha. I shall not force you too.

Come back home to me John Shelby and bring the rest of you too

From my heart to yours with all my love,

Belle French

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