I Am Orthrus

Chapter 10: I Want One Crumpet

Hell will come? Hell will come? Has Judgement Day come already? Probably not I'm pretty sure Hades would have given me a heads up.
Then again I don't think he has anything to do with Hell. He controls Underworld sure, a very hellish wonderland but he's still not that level of a God.
"My master will show you all the world they hide."
That's when I just spun my pistol as I drew it and fired. 2 bullets penetrated each eye in an almost perfectly angled fashion that the bullets lost velocity at just the right time to split off for a shot right in each eye.
Dakota stared at me in shock. Her eyes wider than a deer looking at headlights.
"Where did you learn to shoot like that?"
Well I've got enough to mind wipe her I think. I coiled up my reserve and a cloud of red mist spread over her.
"Hey what the hell was that?" Shouted some random guy I don't know.
You can never mind wipe just one can you? I wiped him too then I was done with magic for the day. What the hell? My reserve is just plain gone, what gives? The man who I had just shot down was no longer shot nor was he down. In fact he had gotten up cracked his neck grew claws and came flying at my face. I did a bit of a sidestep and purposefully messed up a bit so it didn't look to good and got a small scratch on my right cheek.
"So you like to shoot things huh! Just bang dead! I'm gonna make sure you fucking suffer as your little girlfriend watches me rip you limb from limb and feast on your flesh.
"Okay first off not my girlfriend. Second two seconds I've got to use three years of community theater." I held up one finger and ran towards Dakota as it chased me and shouted.
"Dakota go! Get help I'll stay back here and make sure everyone's alright!"
"Are you crazy!"
"Probably"

She reluctantly ran off to go get help. When she was finally out of sight I turned to my attacker and started clapping above my head.
"Well done, you really sold it as ugly monster chasing down the guy who's about to kick your ass. I pull out my handle and out sprung the blade and pointed it towards him in a parrying stance. He just stood there and did absolutely nothing.
"Umm...."
Still nothing from this guy.
"Are gonna you know, fight?"
No reaction I looked up to see where his gaze was I managed to track his eyes to what he was gawking at. It's.....
"That blade...." He screeched.
"Please don't monologue, please don't monologue." I prayed to myself he wasn't going to do it.
"Why does a human have the lost blade? Apóchrosi the sword of shade. How did I not feel it's presence? A realm weapon here on Earth and that one at that? Bring him to me." That voice didn't sound screeching or demonic in fact it sounded. German and slightly british. Sounds like a stereotypical mad doctor actually. I let my guard down and he got me right in the heart. My eyes widened blood pooled out of my mouth.
I grabbed the stupid thing by the throat opened the portal on my arm and through him through the portal then jumped in myself I slammed him face first down into the familar red rock? I got off him and looked around my chest still searing with pain. Staring at a pillar was a man. He was waering a lab coat and goggles around his neck withh some sort of book strapped to his side.
"Who the hell are you?"
He turned arounded and smirked.
"I am I Vant Van Crumpt."
I looked at him confused.
"I don't have any crumpets!"
"No you idiot I am I Vant Van Crumpt."
"You keep saying I want one crumpet I told you I don't have any!"
"Stop making van of my accent, I am I-Van, hmm get it Ivan vone vord next vord Van finally it's Crumpt. I am Doctor Ivan Van Crumpt.
"Okay so if you don't want an English Breakfast treat dude then what do you want? Also where the hell am I?"
"I vill answer your virft question you are where damned lie vhere the demons roam. Vis this the only patch of Underworld vith red stones. Vhere the hell get used to be."
"Soo....uh what do you want?"
"Two things zhat sword and zhat arm it bears the mark of the ones vho valk the line. It is needed to reopen ze hellgate.
"Yeah not gonna happen."
"Do not test me junge I have a demon strong enough to rip the world in half."
"I'd love to meet him sometime get a coffee or something."
"Your meeting zis now, Dushmok destroy ze boy!"