Better Than Words

Shattered

We are sitting quietly watching Dirty Dancing in her hotel room. I picked it because I know she loves 80s movies, but when I put it on she didn't seem as pleased as I expected her to be. She's seemed sort of...out of it, I guess. Just quiet and not as lively as she's been the rest of the week.

I watch her as she watches the way the dancers move. I swear, I could stare at her for hours; her long hair, brown eyes so deep and dark you could see the stars if you looked long enough. The best shade of brown. And the way she smells... clean and sort of flowery, I think. It's better than any too-sweet girl's perfume I've ever smelled before. I can't believe I've fallen for her so hard and so quickly, but there is something about her I can't place. Something hidden and incredibly hard to find, since you can read just about everything else going on in her head by her expressions.

That something about her drew me in the very first night when we rode in the car together. I wanted her to just stay with me all night, but I knew it would come off as really weird, so I kept a little distance...but I had to show her how badly I'd been hooked. After that first kiss, everything was absolutely perfect. We'd been happy and goofy together and I could feel myself being drawn in closer and closer.

But all day she's felt so far. I've got her right next to me, physically, but she's distant. Even her eyes, she's got a look like she's a million miles away. She's leaving tomorrow though, and she may as well be. I don't want things to last like this, so I decide to try and figure out what's going on.

"Ali?" I ask quietly, trying not to startle her.

"Hmm?" She doesn't meet my eyes.

"Everything okay love? You've been quiet this whole movie. All day, really...What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm fine." She smiles for a split second, but it looks uncomfortable.

"Come on, Ali. I know it's only been a week, but I already know that you--" I don't get to finish my sentence before she snaps at me unexpectedly.

"No you don't, Niall, that's just it. It's been a week. You don't know me, so please don't act like you do."

Where is this coming from? Her words cut, and I have to blinking make sure it's the same girl sitting in front of me.

"What? Ali, seriously, what's going on?"

"Nothing, I just...I don't like that you act like you know everything about me. 20 Questions doesn't equate to my life story, and a week doesn't mean anything."

Doesn't mean anything.

A ringing starts in my ears and I feel my chest begin to tighten up. I have to turn away to hide the way my face falls.

"Doesn't mean anything...?" Once I regain my composure, I face her and stand straight up, trying to fool the both of us into thinking I'm not being completely torn down.

"I thought we'd had a good time this week--what the hell, Ali, where is this coming from? What did I do?" I fight the break in my voice I can feel threatening to give me away.

"You're just...you're too clingy, Niall. I'm leaving tomorrow. This was just a fling. Did you think this, whatever this is, was going to last longer than this week? I think you're getting a little bit too serious about this...I don't want to leave you thinking this could have worked out."

Okay, this pain in my chest isn't imaginary. I feel like I can't breathe, and I struggle to find words. She never once thought, from the very beginning, that this would have worked... How the hell could I be so stupid? Of course not, this is was always happens. A wonderful girl waltzes into my life like some kind of blessing, tears up my world, and leaves me in the ruins to figure it out on my own. But this...this is different. This hurts. Holy shit, it hurts. But for her to let me think all week that she really liked me? I didn't peg her as that type of girl.