Better Than Words

Don't.

We leave back to Santa Barbara the day before we have to resume classes. The boys' plane is due back that evening, so I've got time to prepare Niall's present. His collage came out wonderfully, thanks to Sam and Marina's help and I'm so excited to show it to him!

I call Zayn early that morning to let him know I have a surprise planned for Niall. When I talk to him, though, he sounds a little off, almost like my call startled him.

"Hey, Zayn!" I say cheerfully when I hear the other end click.

"Oh. Uh, hey Ali, what's happening?"

"Not much, how has your guys' trip been?" I figure I should at least make polite conversation if I'm going to ask to use his apartment while he's not there.

"It's, uh... It's been good, I guess. Sorry, did you need something? We're just about to get on the plane."

"Oh. Right. Okay. Yeah, I was just wondering if you had a spare key lying around anywhere? I'm planning a surprise dinner for Niall, and I just want to make sure I have it ready for him when he gets back."

"Yeah, Sam has it, she can let you in. Look, uh... I'm sorry, but I've got to go. I'll see you later, Ali." He hangs up before I can say goodbye.

That was weird. I shake it off as best I can and finish loading the car so we can head out.

During the drive, the three of us sing at the top of our lungs with the windows down, enjoying the last few hours we have with just the three of us. When we finally get to Santa Barbara, our voices are hoarse and we're all in need of a nap. I quickly unpack, however, and drive over to the grocery store to get stuff to make Niall's dinner. The girls meet me at the boys' apartment that evening with decorations and set up while I cook.

I decide to make the same meal I made while we watched Theo over break, since he seemed to like it so much. I make enough for the girls to eat before they go back to our dorm, but I put the rest of the food in the oven to keep warm while I wait for Niall to get home.

I end up waiting for nearly another hour. Thirty minutes in, I turn off the oven and decide to just heat up the food when he is actually here. The place looks really cute, but I wasn't anticipating him being home this late. He hasn't answered my messages, but I don't think very much of it because there are some areas where serivce is spotty coming from LAX back to Santa Barbara. Or maybe he's just asleep.

I've noticed myself doing that more and more within the last week, sort of qualifying things that don't make sense to me. Maybe Zayn was in a bad mood and didn't feel like talking on the phone. Maybe their plane was having complications. Maybe Bobby was talking about something other than Niall when I overheard him. Maybe Niall has been having too much fun with the boys to answer me as frequently. Whatever it is, I've been assuring myself that I've got nothing to worry about.

Marina texts me as I'm sitting on the couch watching TV.

*Just talked to Liam, he said they should be there soon! Good luck!* She adds a little pink heart at the end of the message.

I feel my stomach tighten up and suddenly I have to pee. I have no idea why I'm nervous, but there is the unmistakable feeling of anxiety settling into my palms, which are now clammy with anticipation. I pee very quickly and try to take calming breaths in the mirror, in for a few seconds, hold it, let it out slowly--unfortunately they turn into rapid, shallow breaths and I nearly pass out on the counter. I hold the air in my lungs until I feel my heart rate go down and leave the bathroom.

Within minutes I hear the lock click on the front door. I jump up as if the dining room chair shocked me and wait awkwardly in the kitchen to say "surprise."