THEN

She put me in charge of one thing and one thing only. The stress of the wedding had been getting to her and when I asked if I could do anything to help, my fiancée gave me the task of picking out the song for our first dance.

"One less thing I'll have to worry about," she'd said like the song choice was no big deal to her. This wasn't surprising, of course, as she's always been the more serious one in our relationship.

I took on the challenge, willing to do anything for her as she prepared for us to get married.

For the next few weeks I'd been thinking back on our five year relationship, trying to remember if we ever named a song "our song". We hadn't. My next plan of action was attempting to find a song that accurately explained the way I feel about her that wasn't totally cliché. I threw out songs by Beyoncé, Ed Sheeran, and John Mayer before I found the one.

I wanted to keep it a secret from her so I still haven't told anyone except the DJ what the song is.

So now my new wife and I stand behind the double doors of the reception hall, anticipating our first dance. Someone opens the doors as the DJ announces our arrival and gets the song ready for the dance.

We make our way to the dance floor as the beginning of our song plays and I begin to lead her in a slow and steady dance as we listen to the song. I know she doesn't recognize it because she never really liked country music but I can tell she likes my choice as she smiles and sways with me.

Now you're my whole life, now you're my whole world.

I remember back in college when we first started dating. All I could do was stare at her for the longest time because she was so pretty and made me so nervous. I swear it was love at first sight. I tried to tell her I loved her almost six times before I finally worked up the courage to do it. I fell harder and harder every single day after that.

And I thought I loved you then.

My mom always told me that I would know when it was time to propose. It would hit me square in the face and I'd just know that I had to spend the rest of my life with Susan.

"Timothy," my mother said, " if this girl is the one and you know it, stop wasting your time and go buy a ring."

That's exactly what I did.

I spilled my guts out right there in the middle of the gas station parking lot where we first met and prayed to God above that she would say yes. She did. We cried and cried and all the people around us cried too that day.

This woman has impacted my life in ways I never imagined and now on our wedding day I can't help but think about living the rest of my life with the love of my life.

I just can't believe the way I feel about you, girl.

I look down at Susan's shorter frame and see the tears forming in her eyes and it takes everything inside of me not to start crying right along with her. We've been waiting for this day for almost six months and all the preparation and stress has come to an end and we can just enjoy being here together as husband and wife.

"I love you so much, Timothy," Susan says, looking up at me.

"And I love you."

.....

I flip off the wedding video and look over at Susan. She still looks as beautiful as she did when we got married almost twenty years ago. Her hair has grayed and her skin has a few wrinkles, but her eyes still hold the life they always have.

Every year on our anniversary we watch our wedding video with our kids and try not to get upset at the fact that we've aged so much.

In that moment all those years ago I never thought I would be able to love my Susie any more than I did then but boy was I wrong. All the times she kept calm while we stressed about bills and when she gave birth to our three boys made me love and appreciate her even more.

She really is my whole life and I'd never want to have a different one.

The boys decide they've had enough of our love story and head off to their rooms while Susan and I stay on the couch a little bit longer. She scoots closer to me and rests her head on my shoulder and sighs.

"We've gotten so old," she says.

"But I still love you," I respond.

"You've truly been the best husband a girl could ask for, Timothy. I'll never regret letting you pick our song."

"One less thing for you to deal with," I quote her.

She nudges me with her elbow and gets up off the couch to go to our bedroom. I follow her and plop down on my side of the bed, putting my glasses on the table beside me. Susan has changed into her bedclothes and crawls up beside me.

She's so beautiful.

"And I thought I loved you back then," I shake my head and pull her closer to me, enjoying her warmth.

"You've always been a bog softie, Timothy," Susan says. "But I wouldn't have you any other way, my love."

"I congratulate you for putting up with me for this long."

"But will you still love me when I get older and fat?" She asks. I scoff.

"I'll be equally old and fat so of course."

"What if all my hair falls out?" She continues.

"Then I'll kiss the top of your shiny bald head," I answer, smiling. "And before you go on, I'll love you even if you can't see or hear me anymore and I'll love you after you're gone and after I'm gone."

"We can't be like a fairy tale couple and die together?"

"I don't think that's how it works, love."

"Well it doesn't matter," Susie says, "because you're Timothy and I'm Susan. We'll  have the happiest life until we die."

"I'm sure we will."

Never in my life did I think I would ever be here at this point with my college girlfriend. Most of our old friends are divorced or they've remarried making Susie and I wonder what we've done so right. I think we just fall deeper in love each day and we never forget to tell each other that we have.

Even now as I look down at her to see that she's fallen asleep, I wonder how my twenty-five year old self even knew what love was and the amount of it that this woman deserved.

I can tell you right now that she deserves every bit that I have to offer.

And I thought I loved her then.