Little Drummer Boy

Chapter 11: A Gentle Promise.

Chapter 11: A Gentle Promise.

Sometimes people can hide what they’re truly feeling. But even so, the signs still show, it’s just that no one wants to pray at the mask we have constructed. When they do, when a word is said, it shocks us that the world could read us so easily. Sometimes it’s something simple, like sitting in class trying to pay attention, but not wanting to be there. Then the teacher says something, and you wonder how they knew.

That was how Jace was that night with Julia. I mean, if you saw us from the outside, you’d seen a family with a kid brother who was just a bit shy. But it was more than that with him, he seemed to be afraid of Julia. Sure, he might have tried to act like things were okay, that he wasn’t terrified any time she took a step closer to him, but the movement in his eyes, the subconscious shifting in his seat, they gave him away.

I couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking. He wanted to be part of this family fun, of us catching up with Julia. More than once I saw Jace wanting to join the conversation, ready to say something, only for one of us to start talking before he had a chance to. He wanted to overcome his fear, I really believed that. But it’s not so easy; what you want and what your mind has been programed to do through the years of experience may be vastly different things.

Anyway, after dinner we all went to the living room to watch a movie. I honestly don’t remember what it was, some sort of family comedy where the jokes were used about 5 times after they stopped being funny. Still, it was relaxing, and that’s what we needed. Jace started laughing a few times, even more than the rest of us, which was good. He was having fun, even through the torrent of things he had to be experiencing, at least he could find some happiness in it. Even though happiness can be so very fleeting, there are times when that’s something to hold onto, because anything grander to relish is so far out of reach.

After the movie, I found myself in Jace’s room, the book on the floor right next to his bed. “Did you have fun tonight?”

“I did,” he said, picking up the book and putting it on his nightstand. “She really has a lot of cool stories.” That was one thing Julia was known for, her stories, mostly based in reality, seemed to draw anyone in. She always seemed to be in the right place at the right time. That or she just had a habit of starting the trouble she ended up being the hero of when she solved everything. But she normally left out that first part when she told the stories for an audience. “How long is she staying here?”

“I think just the weekend.”

“Then she’s going back to school again?”

I nodded. “I’m sure she’ll be back soon though. It’s not like it’s that far away from here.”

Jace said on his bed, and began laying back. “There was a person like her, where I used to live.”

“Ren?”

Jace shook his head. “Ren was much older than us. This other girl, she was younger than Julia, one of us. But she used to always be excited about everything, and told us how we should embrace every moment of our life, no matter how bad it was, because it was the only day that we had.”

“What happened to her?”

“I don’t know. One day, she wasn’t there. Life went on I guess.”

Jace stopped talking for a few seconds. “But I did miss her. At least for a while. I was pretty little back then, maybe 8 or so, but I still remember it.”

I wondered if he thought that Julia was going to leave like that person, and never return. I’m sure when she was gone for a little bit, he didn’t think anything of it, but soon wondered what had happened. Maybe that’s the way he was with us, he was afraid we’d just leave him without reason. And once we learned more about him, like that strange music that affected him, then we’d be even quicker to abandon him. I could say all I wanted that Julia wouldn’t be one to do that, that she’d stick closer to him than he’d probably want, and when anything threated him, she’d sneak through a police barricade, call in a bomb threat to the local morgue and dress like a high school football player to be there for him.