Whatever Happens

Chapter 10

"Am I allowed to look?" Jackson asked, maintaining a decent distance as he glanced between me and the frog I was cutting into.

Gross as it was, Jackson had done the fetal pig. It was only fair that I do something. And at least this wasn't a multi-week dissection like the pig had been.

I looked up and attempted to scowl at him. When he smiled, I knew I didn't do such a great job of seeming annoyed. I'm not sure if it was that I was just happier because I was dating Dean - though not officially, or if I simply didn't have the ability to stay mad at people, but I couldn't seem to muster the same level of outrage for Jackson as I had before.

Ever since that incident, I'd mostly kept my distance from him. In lab, I'd ignored him as much as possible, and when it wasn't possible, I'd been pretty frosty.

That was several weeks ago, though. Even though it was still a little embarrassing and insulting, I had a hard time being truly mad anymore.

"Kiss and make up?" Jackson grinned.

Not having to try this time, I really did scowl at him.

"Kidding." He laughed and I couldn't help smiling just a little.

"I'm sorry," he said, more seriously.

I glanced down and sighed before looking back at him.

"Forget it." I shook my head. "I wasn't completely naive about why you asked me to come to your room, and I was trying to use you a little bit too."

"You were?" He looked amused.

I blushed. "I was trying to forget about stuff and just..." I struggled with how to explain. I certainly wasn't about to tell him anything about Ben. "I wasn't really looking for a relationship either."

Jackson smiled and shrugged.

"Forget it and start over?" he asked.

"Yeah," I agreed before resuming my dissection.

Jackson moved a little closer to watch me work.

"I guess it's true," he said after a while.

"What?"

"It really isn't easy being green."

Smiling, I shook my head at the cheesy joke and kept working.

"Can I ask you something?" I said after a few minutes.

"Shoot," he said.

"Why don't you do the boyfriend thing?" I wondered. "I mean, is it just because you don't want to commit to anyone?"

"So, I guess we're easing in?" he teased and I laughed.

"I don't know," he said. "I guess I feel like right now is more about having fun and keeping things uncomplicated. Eventually, I'll have to get serious about life and pick a career and everything." He shrugged. "For now, I'm not quite ready."

I guess that wasn't so terrible. Of course, the fact that he probably slept with a different girl every night, wasn't the most endearing thing in the world, but it sort of made sense that he didn't want to lock himself in to anything right now.

"If I was, though," he said after a quiet minute. "I'd look for someone like you."

"Really?"

He nodded. "Someone sweet and smart. Pretty in an understated but sexy way."

Blushing, I glanced away and Jackson laughed at my reaction.

"And someone who isn't jumping into bed with every other guy."

Snorting a laugh, I shook my head.

I worked for a while before I thought of something else.

"Have you ever done the boyfriend thing?" I asked.

Jackson watched me curiously, undoubtedly wondering what I was getting at.

"I guess." He shrugged. "Not for a while, but yeah, I've dated."

"Have you ever not gotten physical with a girl? I mean..." I felt my face warm again. "Did you ever just date? Just hang out and...kind of be together?"

Dean and I had gone on several dates so far, but he hadn't even tried to kiss me yet. All he ever did, was put his arm around me or hold my hand.

I appreciated that he wasn't just trying to sleep with me, but I thought by now, he'd have tried something. And I was sort of getting impatient.

When he asked me over to watch The Princess Bride, I thought he might be thinking of doing a little more than just watching a movie, but he wasn't. He honestly wanted to watch the whole movie. He was right. It was good, but still!

Jackson looked very amused. "So you're dating that guy?"

"What guy?" I said, blushing deeper.

"The one I saw with his arm around you, the other day."

"Oh... Yeah. Kind of. I mean, we're not official or anything."

Jackson just watched me, still seeming amused.

"Well, I don't typically work that way," he said after minute. "But I do know, when a guy really likes a girl, and has definite future plans in mind, he usually errs on the side of caution with the physical stuff."

Thinking, I glanced away. Was that what Dean was doing? He saw how upset I was after I left Jackson. Was he afraid to attempt anything physical with me, because he thought that I'd see it as him trying to use me?

"Some advice?" he said, getting my attention again.

"Yeah?"

"Hold on to him," he said. "If this guy honestly enjoys your company and is happy waiting a while for the physical stuff - assuming you like him, of course, don't take that for granted."

Nodding, I smiled. I hadn't thought about it like that, but he was right. Every guy wasn't going to be that patient.

For a few minutes, I worked quietly on the dissection as Jackson watched.

"You know, if you weren't so lascivious, you'd actually make a pretty decent boyfriend-type."

Jackson laughed so loud at that, other people in the room looked at us.