In Pursuit of a Diamond [On Hold]

In Pursuit of a Diamond (Chapter 1)

Brief word from the author:

Dear Reader,

I really need feedback! It doesn't help me to have a few people scan through the story, and leave the work at that. This is my first time writing a lengthy story (I'm practicing a bit of self-discipline here), or a fantasy story. This is also my first time sharing a story of my own invention with strangers around the world before letting anyone else see it first. I've never been entirely comfortable sharing my writing, due to fear of it being, well, not very good. I want to know if my fears are justified. If you like what you read, please, please, don't hesitate to vote or comment. If you liked it but don't want other people to know, feel free to send me a private message; my oh-so-vacant inbox anxiously awaits you. If you didn't like it, don't be brutal, but I encourage you to give me some suggestions, maybe tell me where you think the plot should go from where you left off. I want to know what you think of the conflict, what you think of the characters. Basically, the more (hopefully good) opinions you have, the better!

Thank you so much for choosing to give my story a chance. And thank you in advance for any feedback.

Yours in spirit,

RaeF1994

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Aubrey Sommerfeld glanced down the street. The sun had set several hours ago, and the road was lit by the orange glow of a solitary lamppost, reflected on the pavement in the puddle left over from the day's rain. The windows of the small two-story shops lining the street were dark, the doors locked, and shutters closed on the few building that still had shutters. All was silent but for a dog barking several blocks away.

Aubrey shifted his legs on the park bench on which he sat and took out his pocket watch. Three minutes had passed since he'd last checked. He sighed and replaced his watch. Then he placed his anxiously trembling hands into his lap.

A noise came from behind him. Aubrey jumped and whipped around, then eased back onto the bench. Just some kids, not much younger than himself, who were probably there to smash park equipment or something along those lines. Had this been a normal night, he would have tried to intervene. Tonight, however, he had more pressing things on his minds, one of them being to remain inconspicuous.

Suddenly a clock struck from somewhere up the street. One strike, meaning it was one a.m. Aubrey stared down the street into one of the store windows, lifting slightly off the bench as he did so, excitement fluttering in the pit of his stomach.

A light flickered in the window, and Aubrey gave a sharp intake of breath; this was his cue. He glanced around his vicinity, but the kids in the park were the only ones there besides himself.

Taking a deep breath, he rose and cautiously approached the storefront. The building was old and slightly dilapidated; after all, it hadn't been used in years. The exterior paint job was faded where it wasn't peeling, and all but one window was covered in a thin layer of grime. A faded and torn sign attached to the door proclaimed, "Willkommen zu unserem Lebensmittelgeschäft: Preiswerten Lebensmittel für euch, Montag bis Sonnabend-Obst, Gemüse, Milch, und Fleisch." Apparently, the place had once been a small grocery store, but looking at it now, one would never realize.

Aubrey approached and grabbed the knob. Locked. He should've guessed. He looked up and down the street again; no one was looking his way. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small wooden rod, with a diamond-cut obsidian at the handle. He tapped the knob. For a moment, it glowed an eerie blue, almost imperceptibly, before returning to its original state. He tried the knob again, then, with a small smile of satisfaction, entered the shop.

He took a look around the room as he stepped over the threshold. The front counter was all that remained of the original grocery store setup; the rest of the shop was completely bare. The counter and floor were both covered in a thick layer of dust, but as he walked further into the room, he noticed that the swirling dust would fill in his footprints as he walked, leaving the floor looking completely untouched.

He looked around and listened for any sound of another human presence. The building seemed perfectly still. Aubrey took a deep breath, then softly called out, "Norensis?"

No response. He listened carefully and watched the room with a wary eye, hoping to hear footsteps or see shadows moving, but there was no sign of life whatsoever. He was just about to call again, when a hand clapped over his mouth.

Aubrey tried to yell out, but the hand muffled the sound completely, as another arm reached around to prevent his struggling. A face leaned in toward his and hissed into his ear, "Keep your voice down. You want someone to hear?"

Aubrey quickly relaxed. He recognized the voice. The man seemed to deem it safe to let Aubrey out of his grip. The latter immediately turned around to face his companion, then stepped back. Drogo Norensis seemed even more intimidating than he had when Aubrey had last seen him. He towered at least a head taller than Aubrey, and much broader. Although he was only about twice Aubrey's age, the wrinkles on his deadest chin and jaw and his unkempt graying hair made him seem to be in his late fifties, although Aubrey was sure that Norensis could crush him to death with one hand if he'd wanted.

"Sorry," he said, whispering now. After a deep breath, he asked, "So do you have the-?"

"Yeah," said Norensis gruffly, "I've got it."

Aubrey nodded, then, not knowing what else to say, stretched out an open palm. He caught his breath as Norensis pulled a small drawstring bag from his pocket.

Norensis gazed down at the drawstring bag, then up at Aubrey. "I hope you know what you're getting yourself into, boy."

Aubrey nodded his head fervently, "Of course, I know." He stretched his hand closer to Norensis.

Norensis still seemed unwilling to part with drawstring bag. "I don't know whether you can even begin to understand what I'm handing over to you. The lives of so many people are held in the balance, in the success or failure or your delivery-"

"I know all that, Norensis," Aubrey said, "You warned me. I grew up knowing enough of the stories. But I can handle it. You told the others I could handle it."

"Yes, I know," Norensis sighed, "So much power, in a single gem..." He sighed and passed the drawstring bag into Aubrey's outstretched hand. Aubrey felt a wave of exhilaration pass through him as he took the bag in his hand. Even through the fabric of the bag he could feel the exquisite cut of the jewel.

After what seemed a long time, Norensis let go of the bag, and Aubrey pocketed it. They stood in silence for a moment, neither of them wanting to be the first to move. Then Norensis sighed and put his hand on Aubrey's shoulder. Looking him dead in the eye, he said somberly, "I suppose it's in your care now. Don't let the Hope Diamond fall into the wrong hands."

"Don't worry," Aubrey replied, the strange feeling of exhilaration still inside him. And with that, he went for the door, and left the building looking as dismal and forgotten as ever.