It was always you

Chapter 3

Hermione's POV:

After the feast, I took Harry for the promised walk.

"I just want to apologize for everything. Ron and I aren't intentionally leaving you out of our plans, and I don't want you to think I'm not your friend anymore because I do care about you, Harry. You've always been there for me, and I haven't been there for you lately. I feel like one of these days, you'll leave us and become friends with Malfoy!" I joked.

I laughed, but Harry didn't. Was the joke that bad, or was he just that upset?

"Harry, what's wrong?"

Harry's POV:

Hermione! Can't she see it already?

I missed her. I miss spending time with her. Ever since she started dating Ron, she forgot about me.

Why should I care, though? She's just my friend. But that's not entirely true.

I've always loved Hermione.

But I'll never tell her because to her, I'm just her best friend, and she's been with Ron forever. I don't want to ruin things.

What's wrong with me?

I'm just tired of being the third wheel, tired of being left out, tired of feeling jealous, tired of hating my best friend because of a girl who doesn't even see me the same way. Tired of being seen as a hero when my life is far from perfect.

Who can I even talk to about this?

My parents are dead.

My godfather is dead.

Lupin and Tonks are dead.

Dumbledore is dead.

Why does everyone I care about have to die?

And then it hit me.

Someone who was close to my mother.

Someone who knows what I've been through.

Someone who will understand me.

Someone like Snape.

I ran away from Hermione, knowing anything I say won't make her see me differently, and I went to Snape's office. All I could hear was her calling after me:

"We haven't even started talking yet! Where are you going?"

I entered Snape's office and to my surprise, found the old man sitting inside. I felt like I just entered a time machine. How is he even here? Is this just a record of a memory or something?

I ran towards him and hugged him tightly, never wanting to let go.

"How is this possible? How are you alive? How did you survive?" I asked him.

"First, congratulations on defeating Voldemort. I knew you would make it. Now, have a seat. I'll tell you the whole story.

You see, I'm the Potions Master. I can brew any potion. So how could I have died so easily? I had a backup plan. I've been drinking antivenom since I was near that snake.

Dumbledore planned his death, and so did I. But my plan was to survive. I wish he had done the same," Snape replied.

Dumbledore was the headmaster before Snape killed him on Voldemort's command to gain his full trust.

Dumbledore helped me search for the Horcruxes, which contain fragments of Voldemort's soul and prevent his death.

"While you all left me after you took one of my memories away, which we will talk about later, I was trying to heal completely," he continued.

The memory contained him and my mother growing up together and then her leaving him for my dad. She died afterward, and since then, his Patronus changed to the form of my mother's, among other things that I need an explanation for.

"I still can't believe you're alive! I mean, you died right in front of me!

And the memories—my mother, you—how is that even possible?" I asked again.

"I always loved your mother. The moment I laid eyes on her, I knew she was meant to be mine. I just didn't know how to tell her.

Then our differences separated us, and we were sorted into different houses. I was Slytherin, and she was Gryffindor.

After many fights with your dad, James, I knew she loved him dearly, and I didn't want to upset her or make her choose between us. So I left her, but my love for her only grew stronger every day.

I'm sorry for treating you so badly, Harry. But the truth is, you remind me of her a lot. Every time I look at you, I see her angelic face smiling at me. And your eyes. You have hers," he finished.

"The truth is, I've lost many people in my life, and I really want to talk. And all I want is someone to hear me out because there's a lot going on, and I'm not sure who to discuss it with."

I wanted to tell him about Hermione, but this is Snape. I can't tell him, not now anyway.

"I'm feeling really alone, and every close person to me is dead," I confessed.

Then Snape replied:

"You know you can always come to me when you need a friend. I will try my best to understand and guide you.

And now, I need to ask you a favor: Become friends with Draco."

"Draco? I think we already are..."

"And why? What's wrong? I know about his parents in Azkaban and him being alone..."

"You are? Well, how come?

He just needs a friend, and you'll be a perfect one," he said.

"I guess we need the same things," I answered.

I left Snape and went to the Gryffindor dormitory, where I found Ron.

"What's up? Are you ignoring me?"

"No, not really. I just have a lot going on right now, and I'm trying to sort things out," I replied.

"You have a lot going on right now, and that's when you need to come to me! I'm your friend, Harry. If anything's bothering you, you'll tell me, right?

"Yes, absolutely," I answered.

"Even if it's about me."

"Sure," I lied.

How can you tell your best friend that you're in love with his girl?

I went to bed and fell asleep, trying to focus on the long day tomorrow and ignoring the thoughts of Hermione swirling in my head.