One With Nature

Ahh....Dreams

I was running.

Through the woods.

Not wearing a shirt.

Mustard covered my bare chest.

Wait, wait, hold it, lemme back up to the beginning of this surreal hallucination.

So I was tied up.

Or something I can't quite remember, I just remember some evil guys doing evil things.

If I'm remembering correctly they restrained me and friend and proceeded to do a line of coke while my friend and I escaped through a portal. Which is weird because I don't have any friends.

Anyways we got through the portal which was really just a box.

I emerged into a grassy field in the middle of the woods. My friend not in sight.

And what I saw was....a god?

Yes, yes, a god.

He told me to have faith.

Mustard-or maybe not mustard, I'm beginning to question myself, this is a weirder vision than usual.

I hope it's not real.

Anyways he held his hands out and, WOOP, there appeared some mysterious yellow sauce.

He spread it across my chest.

"May the power of Spongebob be with you."

He held his arms out farther.

"To fight off your enemies."

A gun that closely resembled a Nerf gun appeared.

His face was covered but I'm sure he was smiling warmly.

"Th- Thanks....guy?"

"I'm God" he said disappointedly.

"Now go." He pointed to the cardboard box.

I stared at him. He's got to be kidding right?

"Go"

I walk back to the box and sigh.

Great...

I begin to force my body through, seeing the light which was probably just my world.

I've almost reached the end. The entrance back.

I wake up.

"What the hell just happened."