It's an unsettled summer for Suzy Bae. Back in Gwangju, her family's splitting apart, but her older cousin's beach place in Busan, everything is different. Especially with him around.
Jungkook. He's the lifeguard with extraordinary looks and strange...
I walk to the end of the path and there it is before me: the magical beach.
How do I know?
Not the way the dunes slope to the ocean. Not the house with the tiny windows. Or the home nearby with the balcony and the pale blue rocking chairs, so close to the water that it could be shallowed by a giant wave. And not the abandoned red pail and shovel, still poking out of the sand.
It's him, out there before me.
The tall, muscular physique. The brown hair blowing, swim trunks clinging to his lean hips.
Only he has company.
Jieun.
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They're not sitting on his blanket watching the waves, the way we did. And they're not talking. They're in the water, his arm loosely around her waist. She leans against him, her short hair grazing against her bare shoulders. They're like a fairy-tale scenery of serenity and unimaginable beauty, facing the ocean. They were born to be together, the fairy-tale prince and princess.
As slowly as I arrived, I back up, catlike, as if despite the blowing wind, the waves hitting the shore, and their total absorption in each other, they still might be able to make out my footsteps, the stray cat who has come upon their private oasis.
I pedal as fast as I can to get as far away from this beach. What was I thinking? Why did I want to come here, of all the places? It's his beach. I don't belong here. I don't belong anywhere near him ever again. Did I think I was the only one in his life? He's the most perfect looking male in the universe, so that's absurd thought. I feel sickened, betrayed.
I head back to the safety of Yoongi's beach. He might still be there; it's only seven. So what if he's Jungkook's grandfather? I need his comforting presence. I need to lean on him, be sheltered by him. He takes me in, all-knowing, protective, accepting, no matter what.
Only he isn't there.
he must have packed up early or had something else to do. He meets friends for dinner sometimes at a little restaurant at the end of the beach. I may go riding past to see if I can spot him there.
I know so little about Yoongi. Where does he live when he's not outside painting? Where does he go off season? So many people come for summer and then vanish for months at a time.
° ° ° ° °
Irene gives me a strange look when I get home. "Are you okay, Suzy?"
"Why shouldn't I be?"
"I don't know, just that you seem . . . pale."
Irene's upset, I can tell. I want to ask her if she's ever had her heart torn apart. Or what to do when you feel betrayed by someone and hurt so badly that you feel you can't live in your skin and you'll go crazy? I want to ask her if she's ever cared about somebody with everything and if there's any way you can make the stabbing ache go away when you find out they're in love with someone else.
