Alone •Shawn Mendes

Chapter 15: Uneasiness

Alone ~15

Claire Johnson

There was a knock to the bedroom door. I sat in the corner of the room hugging my knees as tears flowed down my face. The aching pain in my chest remained present and constantly I have lost the thought of using my voice much. It was the morning of my fathers funeral. It was hard to believe that he was really gone. I never expected to have to face losing almost both of my parents at the same time.

The moment that I had found out about the chemical explosion at the laboratory, I broke down in tears and the fear of what was going on haunted me. I did not continue on with my performance and at the moment I didn't care for my upcoming auditions. Many self conscious thoughts went running through my mind that day and everything went down from there.

The last several days, I stayed in my room as my Aunt Jen had to arrange the funeral. Since my mom was not capable of doing anything at the moment, my aunt flew down here right away. The days passed in a blur and I could never remember when I'd fall asleep or the food that I was forced to eat so I wouldn't starve. Nothing seemed to fully settle with my mind and I couldn't comprehend the talks my Aunt Jen would give to my grandmother and grandfather.

I briefly remembered the evening my aunt had arrived in New York and tried her best to take care of me. The only thought that bothered me the most was my mom may making it and I've already lost my dad. I didn't have a mother who was able to breathe on her own. I wasn't sure if she would ever wake up. What exactly was going to happen now? I heard the bedroom open and I sat still as I heard a small sigh. It was very easy to tell it was my aunt as I knew my grandparents would have made it clear they were here.

"Claire?" I heard my aunt call softly to me and just a moment later, she was kneeling down in front of me and gently massages my shoulder. I sniffled as I had no motivation to stop my depressing thoughts. I didn't have much care for the world anymore. I didn't want to face it. "Come on sweetheart. I know this is hard for you. I've lost my brother and have nearly my lost my sister in law." I shakily looked up and took a tissue from the almost empty box and wiped my eyes. I used the other tissue to blow my nose.

"I... I don't know what I'll do after today," I croaked. My aunts eyes were swelling. She understood what I was going through and she has been the only person to contact me and stay in touch with me these last several days. My Aunt Jen and I always had a bond I wish I had with my mother.

"I was going to ask you if maybe you'd like to live with me, your uncle John, and your cousin Jack? You're welcome to stay with us as long as you'd like and we'd love to have you."

"A-are you sure?" I felt a bit hesitant, because of the relationship I had with Jack and his friend G. "I don't want to intru-"

"You're family Claire. You are my favorite niece and you're like a daughter to me." I knew she had only good intentions. I knew she meant well for me and I knew she would take care of me until I was off to college. Even during or after college, she would be there for me.

"Can I think about it first?"

"Of course. Take your time. Just know you have family who loves you." I nodded understanding. At the moment, I sort of wanted to be away from everyone for now. I wanted to shut myself out for a little while and be able to be on my own before having to face people again. I couldn't handle being asked what happened or telling my story of how I ended up where I am now. She looked down towards her wrist to check the time. "We... should get going Claire." She sighed knowing we had to get down to the church.

People would be arriving and my aunt Jen wanted to make sure we were there before Anyone. Not as many family members from my dads side would be coming and no one would be coming from my moms side, except for my grandparents. I never met my mother's siblings or extended family, but she never mentioned them. Many friends and co-workers who did survive or were not in the lab where the explosion happened would be there.