Chapter 1: Departure

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For us black people life was never easy – even though we lived in the Caribbean where one can meet any type of people, we blacks were still regarded as a lower class. It was a common knowledge – blacks were considered slaves to the whites.

But not just these two races dominated the Caribbean. You would meet a lot of Hispanics, too, who claimed to be as tough as the whites. However, the most fascinating were other types of people you could meet here, although rarely - the ones come from East Asia, or, as we Caribbeans loved to call it, the edge of the world. I was amazed by these people - they had come here as foreigners, just like we blacks, but they would never put down their pride. They actually considered themselves of higher rank than the whites. That fascinated us blacks a lot, because most of us back then were afraid to raise our voices against those filthy whites, and seeing these foreigners act so dignified in front of the whites, we felt that we too could someday regain our cultural pride and there would finally come the time when we would stand on the equal ground with the whites.

Even though I speak with the voice of the blacks, I am a mixed blood. Some people might consider this an advantage, but in fact, it is quite a burden, because neither your fellow blacks consider you their kind nor the whites accept you – both of them see mostly your differences and not your similarities to their races. So it was quite hard for me to live with it. The only thing that kept me proud was that my mother was a very dignified woman who never backed down to any white man, and, according to her stories, my father too was a man who fought against the injustice dominating the world, hence had become a pirate to seek freedom in the seas. Mother would often tell me: "be proud of who you are. You are not half black or half white. You are both black and white. You combine the best features of all of us".

Still, no matter how proud one may be, racial tension exists and it was even tougher back then. I worked at the same inn as my mother and could see how we, women, had to put up with gender inequality and racial tensions in our society. Yet, we never backed down and always stood our ground - at least some of us, including me and my mother.

When I finally became nineteen and was already able to make independent decisions, I began observing the sailors who frequently visited our inn. I carefully listened to the stories they told. I had already made up my mind - I was going to search for my pirate father in the seas, no matter what it took. I knew I would have to face a lot of dangers, but I didn't mind - if my father was a pirate, being risky was in my blood, and, the instinct for survival in the seas was in my blood, too. A pirate's life is succeeded from fathers to their children. I believed in gender equality, so I knew that even though I was a daughter and not a son, I would still inherit my father's noble pirate blood.

Thus, one night, when a group of sailors was going to return to their ship whose location I already knew as I had listened to their conversations earlier at the inn, I packed up my provisions and was going to sneak out when I heard my mother's concerned voice from the behind:

"Janette, what are you doing?"

I started - I didn't expect my mother to notice me so easily. I turned back and faced her - a serene woman who watched me with a worried face. She was apparently frightened that her daughter had decided to sneak out towards the harbour in the middle of the night.

"Um, I..." I began brooding over the ideas of how to explain myself. No good reason came to my mind, though.

"You... are going to leave?"

"I... Mother, it's been a long time. I've heard a lot from you about my father - the noble pirate, yet I have never seen him..." I felt how tiny tears had gathered in my eyes as I spoke with emotions pressing against my throat, "It's time for me to discover who I am, and what my purpose is. I cannot do it without knowing who my father was. I... I need to know what I want to do in my life. I firmly know I don't want to be looked down upon. I want to be treated by everyone as an equal, no matter it be a man or a white. I... need to seek for my destiny."

Tears rolled down my cheeks. It was a hard decision for me to make. I loved my mother from the bottom of my heart and I didn't really wish to abandon her, but another part of me was calling me towards the sea. I needed to know who my father was. I needed to know who I was. I needed to find justice in this world. I needed to find a place where they would welcome me as a friend and not a servant... an equal and not a slave.

As I was fallen into my thoughts and felt bitter anguish and anxiety all at the same time, I noticed how my mother quietly approached me and embraced me with her arms.

"Go," she told me softly, "If it is what you truly want. I guess I cannot make my beloved's daughter remain on the land..." she bitterly smiled, wiping my tears away. Instead, her own tears fell down her cheeks. "You have your father's blood within you. You are restless and adventurous just like him, seeking freedom. I... I wish you best of luck... and when you find him, please tell him I haven't forgotten him, and he shall always be in my heart." she wiped her tears away with a smile. "And also, be careful, Janette - the sea holds lots of dangers. Be sure to stay prudent. When you make it, please don't forget to visit me whenever you are able."

She hugged me tightly. Our farewell was the saddest thing I had ever experienced. It was full of tears and bitterness. I cuddled with her for the last time and ran towards the harbour.

I silently sneaked onto the ship and hid amidst the barrels so that no one would see me. I did not fear too much, though, as I was dressed in a man's clothes and I tried my best not to be recognized as a woman because sailors hated to have women on board - it was believed to be a bad omen.

At last, the sailors launched the ship into the open sea, and we departed. I felt the night breeze blow in my face and play with my hair. My heart trembled with excitement – my journey had finally begun.

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