The never was

empty driveway

Its time again..
The days get drowned to hours
And are devoured by the minutes..
These last seconds are not so kind to just tick on bye..
They stomp as burning demons through my being ..
As i wait ..
Without breathing ..
Twisted in knots of fear
Will you be smiling tonight..
Tick tock..
The clock always says its fight
Or flight..

I listen to every detail.
How fast you pulled up the driveway
How hard you close your car door.
Are your steps angry
I can gauge from the weight of your breathing
Before i see you
How i should modify my mood to suit.

This is not normal. 
Its a problem for me ..
I do not want to fight
And i am to proud to run ..
8 years of this has found me
Frozen and overcome..

Its time for me again
As my days to come rise from the depths
To be swept away by the waiting minutes
And oh how long they've waited..
The seconds hold me safe as i count them down
And count my steps
To freedom and to myself
Tick tock tick tock
Its time now
So i leave you
With my hope and spirit
Carrying me down
That empty driveway.