The never was

Monastery hill

On monastery hill, God mocked me
Emotions sent cloudwards, silence .
Eyes downwards.
Mondays emotions hurt so much more
Within the snare
Of monastery hill .

The closer I get to god ,
Finds me the furthest I've been
From anything.
Fated to starve in the midst of the banquet.
Fated to freeze in the coals of the fire.
Your words go by as fast
As god did give up.
On monastery hill, I'm side by side
With god
And a liar .

Can I drive?
So the saints fall from the dashboard ,
To leave them, weeping Jesus
In the dust .
So the fading tail lights, cast shadows on the questions.
Like crying devils eyes fleeing
This righteous house of god .

You will never know
I know
That the universe itself begged me to touch you
To climb into your soul,
Eat out your eyes
And breath in the beat of your heart.
My eyes close , shallow breathing shatters.
Silence sits beside you and me.
As monastery hill, as this godless life.
Finally tore the last of me
Apart..
If the devil steals our souls..
Then god himself laughed out loud ,
Before you seen my broken
Heart .