Oh, Dakota.

Chapter Thirty Nine.

I took a different approach with this chapter. Some parts may seem a little mature, but I really wanted to get inside Elijah’s head, and I feel like this is what he would be thinking of. So, enjoy!! (:

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Elijah Astor

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I can’t believe this.

I can’t believe I let her walk away this time. And I’m not sure if I blame her or myself.

Turning around slowly, I meet Stacey’s gaze. I can’t decipher what she’s thinking, because her head is pointed downward. Her long locks slip down to cover her face, curtaining her tanned skin.

A couple of pained, still moments pass between us, when the only thing I can focus on is the sound of her staggered breathing, and the ruthless pounding of my heart.

Everything feels cold. My skin is chilled, and slick sweat particles begin to tickle down my neck. Watching Dakota cry was the breaking point for me. I desperately want to go find her and hold her and kiss her and make love to her over and over.

And this is what makes this all the more difficult for me. Because I don’t even know what the hell just happened or how it happened for that matter. All I know is she’s gone, and I’m not sure I’m going to get her back this time.

Something in the way she looked at me; something in her eyes- was agonizing. She gazed at me with such distraught, such confusion. When I held her, pathetically trying to keep her to me, she appeared so troubled, like she couldn’t seem to grasp the concept of everything she was feeling. Almost as though she didn’t exactly understand or believe what was happening. And everything inside me died. Everything inside me melted at that look. I wanted nothing more than to hold her, but she pushed me away, just like every other damn, fucking time.

And it hurt worse this time. I swear my lungs bled when she walked away-or more ran away. My heart seemed to constrict and dive inside my chest, rolling over until it burst all together. I got a bitter,    metallic taste in my mouth when she told me she wanted nothing to do with me.

Did she really mean it? That she didn’t want me?

Because, fuck. Shit, I wanted her. I wanted her so bad.

Every single, fucking part of her. From the mesmerizing color of her eyes to the annoyingly adorable path of freckles on her stupid, small nose. God, I love that nose.

How could she walk away from me? After everything we’ve been through? After tonight? I fucking spilled my guts to her. I told her about my mother; I told her I love her. And I do.

And that kiss.

Fuck was that a mistake. I desperately wish I could regret it, but I don’t want to. She really ruined it for me now, because I won’t ever be able to stop thinking about that kiss. No girl and no set of lips and no kiss will ever compare to the one we just had.

She felt so good against me. She seemed to fall so easily against my chest and her lips were like fucking magic. She smelt of rain, as usual, and I couldn’t get enough of it. Her skin was so soft against my fingertips. God, she felt great.

She’s still driving me crazy. Fuck, while kissing her, I almost creamed right then and there. I was being pushed over the edge and if it wasn’t for Stacey coming over I might have took her right then and there and fucked her senseless.

But, Dakota’s more than that. She isn’t just some girl. Fucking her wouldn’t get her out of my system.

I need her.