Chapter Nine:

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EDITED: Chapter Nine:

Just two more months left and then I'd hopefully be going back to my own time.  I was nervous.  Excited.  What if this spell didn't work?  Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly, trying to calm my nerves.  It would work.  It had to.  Then there was the holidays which started tomorrow.. I still didn't know where I'd go...

"Spencer!"

I groaned, looking over my shoulder at Scorpius as he jogged towards me.  Was it too late to hide somewhere so he wouldn't see me?  "Spencer!"  Yeah... yeah it was.  He had food in his hands too.  I definitely was not hungry, my nerves were shot, I was already nauseous, I dont think I could eat a single bite.

"No, no, no, no," I dragged out the last 'no', closing my eyes, pulling my knees to my chest and laying my forehead against them.  I groaned, pouting as I felt Scorpius approaching, closer... closer, closer. I didn't so much as flinch which his hand landed on my shoulder, squeezing lightly. 

"Hello new best friend," I could hear the smile in his voice, and the mischievious sound to it, he was teasing me.  Again.  "Eat this."  I looked up in time to see his pale, yet calloused hand setting my food on the ground beside me.  It wasn't all that much, if I was being completely honest.  Grilled chicken with carrots and squash.  Small portions thankfully as well.  But it still didn't look all that appetizing.  My stomach lurched as I thought about even a single bite of any of it touching my tongue.

"C'mon Spence, I dont have all day."  I grimaced at the nickname, remembering how Sirius had called me that before I'd told him I was going back to my own year.  I sighed once more, feeling even more guilty for leaving him behind.  He waited eight years, and then he fell in love with someone else.  I just wish it'd been me, but there wasn't anything I could do to change that. 

"What are you thinking about?" 

"Sirius," I muttered, without actually thinking about it.  I could have slapped myself for my own stupidity.  I bit the inside of my cheeks, making sure I could say nothing else to incriminate myself further. 

"James?" I shook my head, though I should have just went along with it.  But I felt so alone here, nobody my age really knowing my secret, not having anyone I could talk to about it.  Would it be all that bad if I told Scorpius?  He was so nice, and he tried his best to make sure I was taken care of, he had for nearly a month already.

As much as I was loathe to admit it, he'd become my friend, one of the best I'd had actually. 

I could trust him with this, I was sure of it. 

"Professor Sirius Black, I meant," I whispered, staring down at my plate of food before setting it beside me and turning to stare at Scorpius Malfoy.  "I knew him when he was younger, our age actually.."

From there I went on to tell him the entire story. 

I told him about my mission from Voldemort to kill Remus Lupin, how I had searched for an entire week for Lupin only to find that I couldn't locate him and he was locked up in hiding.  I told him how I was sure my father, Severus Snape, would kill me, only to find out that he had sent me back in time to when he was our age, with only two words to go by.

"Find me." 

I told him without hesitation about how I'd gone nearly an entire school year there, falling in love with Sirius Black along the way, not even realizing it until the very end of my time there.  Then I told him about how I'd chosen to go back to my own time, leaving the man I'd fallen in love with behind.

Only to end up here.. where he was married to someone else, and had named one of his daughters after me, I was left to watch him be happy with someone else.  I told him how I had changed the future, and told him what his dad had been like before I changed the future. 

Rude, shallow and bratty. 

"He's not like that now though, not to anyone.  Even my father and Mr. Potter get along, they work together in the Auror department in the Ministry of Magic as a team.  They're the best there is, Spence, you should see them! Whatever you did in the past to change the future, it was a great thing, you saved a lot of people and should be really proud of yourself." 

I nodded, smiling at his words.  He was right, of course.  I helped a lot of people, saved people's lives, and I was proud of that, it just sucked that I had to lose Sirius... I could have changed the future and stayed in the past, that would have been for the best, but then whose lives would have changed if I'd stayed?  There would be no Spencer of Sevanah Black, Ayla wouldn't have been happily married. 

When it came down to it, I preferred a complete stranger to be happy instead of me, and I'm glad that Sirius found Ayla, they deserved to be happy.

"You're right... thank you Scorpius." 

"Of course, dearest best friend of mine.  Now eat your food."

I scrunched up my nose, pouting.  "I dont wanna!"

"Eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"Now."

"But... Ugh, fine!"

I took the plate of food into my hands, glaring softly at his smiling face.  I bet he was so full of himself right now.  Since when had he taken my father's job of forcing me to eat?  When my stomach didn't lurch after the first bite, I smiled, stuffing my face happily.  Talking to Scorpius really helped me calm down.

Just another thing I needed to thank him for.

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