Dorm 221B

Chapter Thirteen

It was a wonderful holiday. They stayed a few days after New Year's, then went back to College to finish their first year. They were both so happy with each other. They had been dating for a while now, and it almost felt as it nothing could ever stop them. Their love for each other was so concentrated. Their love was so gloriously heavy on their hearts. They were mad about each other, even after many months passed. Their school work was good, due to their positive attitudes. Sherlock was close to graduating and so was John. They were thrilled. And so they remained...Until the last month of College. 

Reality hit them. They both wanted very different things. They had polar opposite opinions and aspirations. Sherlock wanted to take a year out of college and do work experience in London with Scotland Yard. He'd already gotten the say-so. John, on the other hand, wanted to take a year out of college so he could go back to the army. He and Sherlock both knew that his service time would probably stretch farther than a year. He also definitely had a place. Their separation was inevitable.

They didn't know what to do. Sherlock suggested a long-distance relationship, but neither of them really wanted that. They thought about meeting up just whenever they could, but that would satisfy neither of them....So, it was over. It was over, even though neither of them wanted it to be. They were both young, and they wanted to get their careers in order. They knew that love shouldn't stop you from reaching your occupational dream...But it was so tempting. 

For Sherlock, he knew what this meant. He wouldn't tell John. No, if he told John, his boyfriend would force himself to stay with Sherlock even if he actually wanted to go to the army. Sherlock would never find another. He knew it, he accepted it. John was the love of his life, and he had to leave him. John was the one true person who treated him right. The one person (apart from his family) who loved him. It was different with family. They had to love you. The love was forced upon them from the moment Sherlock was born. But, not with John. John chose to love Sherlock. John actually felt that way, and Sherlock knew he was never going to find another person who felt like that. It was heartbreaking, really, but Sherlock wouldn't stop John from going to the army. He could be selfish, but he couldn't when it came to John Watson.

John, on the other hand, didn't worry about finding a future partner. He'd been with girls and boys before and the idea of dating didn't frighten him. He just knew he'd miss Sherlock. And, he would worry about him. He'd worry about people bullying him, and he'd worry that Sherlock would believe what they said. He was brilliant, Sherlock. He was clever and arrogant and beautiful...And incredibly insecure in the face of friendship. John was afraid to leave him on his own. Yet, Sherlock kept insisting that he was okay. That, yes, this separation was bound to hurt, but he would be okay in the long run.

So, it was a bittersweet departure. The two recognized that this was probably the best relationship they would ever have. And instead of pining over it, they just wanted to appreciate the wonderful time they had spent together. They felt excited about their future, and also guilty for feeling happy about it. But, they understood. Sherlock knew John would miss him, yet also enjoy the army. John knew Sherlock would miss him, but also enjoy working for Scotland Yard. Life would be rough for a while, but that was okay. Because for a little while...They had perfection.

''Sherlock,'' John nudged him with his foot. It was the morning both their trains would take them away from each other. ''Sherlock, wake up.'' he said, sitting up and turning off the alarm. 

Sherlock stirred a bit and eventually opened his eyes. He yawned softly and sat up, rubbing at his eyes. He looked at John, and gave him a soft smile. ''Goodmorning.''

''Morning, Sherlock.'' he said, biting his lips. Wow, this really wasn't going to be easy. They looked at each other for a small while. They both understood and let the other gaze. John would miss Sherlock's bedhead, the way his curls would go crazy. Sherlock would miss the way John's eyes were all puffy in the morning, and not fully open. Sherlock eventually ended it by kissing John on the cheek and clambering out of bed.

''Come on,'' he said, forcing enthusiasm into his voice. ''We have to be leaving in an hour.'' he started pulling on his clothes.

John stared at him from their bed for a moment, then nodded and stood, feeling a horrible heaviness on his chest.

They packed in silence, and they ate their dry bread without speaking. Too soon, it was time for them to go to the train station. Sherlock's train left only half an hour after John's, so they decided to go together. Sherlock was just pulling on his coat when John's phone 'pinged'. 

''Shit,'' he muttered, looking at his phone.

''What's wrong?'' Sherlock asked, placing his hand on the door knob. 

''My train's been delayed by a bloody hour.'' John sighed, sitting back down on the bare bed.

''Ah,'' Sherlock removed his hand. ''So, I suppose...There's no point in you coming with me now, is there? You'll only be waiting around for ages.''

John looked up at him and nodded. ''Suppose'' his voice was thick.

Sherlock looked down to the floor, and he found himself doing something he really, really rarely did. He started crying.

John stood up and instantly walked to him, cupping his face in his hands. ''Don't you start, you'll only make me cry too.'' he said, eyes already glossing over.

Sherlock looked at John and brought him into a hug, tears silently falling from his eyes. He wanted to sob loudly and to stamp his feet in anger, but he held it back, the lump in his throat; painful. John gripped onto the back of Sherlock's coat, tears dripping down and tickling his nose. ''I love you.''

Sherlock let out a small noise of pain and nodded. ''I love you too. John,'' he sniffed in and pulled back. ''Don't get hurt in the army, okay? You take care of yourself.'' his lip quivered.

John nodded, staring up at him. ''You too. You stay safe. And stay happy.'' 

Sherlock let out a louder sob and nodded. He tried to smile as he forced himself to step away from John. ''Thank you so much for everything, I've had an amazing time.''

John nodded, wiping furiously at his cheeks. ''Thank you'' he said.

Sherlock opened the door and took up his two bags. ''...I wish you the best of luck.'' he said in a quiet voice, slowly retreating from the room. He had tears flying down his cheeks, but he smiled. That's what Sherlock always wanted. To make John smile.

And, he did. He smiled back through his own tears. ''You too, Sherlock. I love you.''

''I love you too.'' he got out, before making himself turn his back and walk away. He held his head up high, even though tears fell quickly and his shoulders shook. He just kept walking. Away. Away from John.