2 | ROGUE • BUCKY BARNES [COMPLETED]

EPILOGUE

He couldn't believe it. It was impossible, but it was all his fault.

He sat at the museum for hours, reading about himself, his best friend and her. So many years went by, completely lost.

The screen of Gideon Erskine's life flashed before him. That helpless, bone-crushing weight didn't come down on him until In Memoriam and her birthday to last week's date interrupted the series of her pictures.

His face fell into his hands as more and more memories came flooding back in.

It would all come back in bits and pieces at random times, non-linear and sometimes incoherent. But her and Steve were the starring role of each one.

He remembered the café. It felt like the first time he ever saw her, breath-taking.

He saw the many times he joked with Steve through out their lives.

The next moments, he thought, were later. He remembered feeling different. The smell of gunshot residue filled his nostrils, and the discharging noise of his weapon was deafening. He had no idea of how many people he killed.

"I'm with you until the end of the line," Steve's voice seemed to haunt him.

Gideon then appeared before him, out of nowhere. It was nearly pitch black out, and she seemed out of breath.

"Bucky, stop. Please."

It all felt like a dream, his vision shifting inconsistently and blurry around the edges.

She was then lying next to him, still half asleep with a sliver of the sun from an open curtain hitting her face. He watched her, taken aback. She woke up slowly. Her blue eyes met him, and she smiled. He seemed to awaken himself when she uttered, "I love you."

He hasn't realized how far he had wandered, or that he had even left the Smithsonian. Bucky found himself back in Brooklyn, a train ticket receipt, a pencil and a pamphlet of her obituary in his hands. Standing in the cemetery on the paper, he found her name. His eyes stung. Flowers were still fresh at the stone's side.

Wearing a hoodie and baseball cap, he settled in front of the headstone. His mind was buzzing, his fingers fidgeting with the pencil. With the receipt turned over on his thigh, he began to write without a second thought.

Gideon,

I'm so sorry.

I remember. Everything is coming back in fragments. But I remember us. I loved you, and even if I can't remember all of it, I know that I still do. I wanted to marry you. Did Steve ever give you the ring?

I remember what I did too, though, after falling from the train. I was a monster. I am a monster. I've hurt so many people, including you and Steve. I can never forgive myself. I don't even know what I would say to him if I see him, or you, if you were still here.

You were so easy to talk to, Gideon. I could tell you everything, no matter what. But now, I don't know the right words. I don't think I ever will.

You were the best thing to ever happen to me. I don't like this world with out you.

I'm sorry,

Bucky