1.2 | Breakup Formula | ONGOING

07 | rebound

0 7

r e b o u n d

When Joey entered the diner the next afternoon after his classes, I had my face schooled into a perfect mask. I'd sent him back home the previous night, but it was something else altogether to face him now that he was sober.

He stood by the doorway of the kitchen and I forced myself to sound as neutral as I could. "How've you been?"

"Glitter," he began, crossing over the threshold and into the kitchen. "About last night - "

"What about last night?"

He stared at me like I'd said something utterly insane. "Kira, I know what I said last night."

"Forget it," I said quietly, sidestepping him to head out front to the counter. Eloise was doing her homework there and she glanced up, a slight frown etching on her forehead as she noticed the expression on my face.

"Everything alright?" She whispered at last, after studying me for a few minutes.

I nodded, but stilled when I felt Joey sidle up beside me. He took the coffee pot before I could. "Here, let me - " he started, but I flinched away.

"Then you man the counter," I said, without looking at him. "And I'll do the inventory."

"Let me just - "

"It's fine, Joey," my words stopped him short, and in my peripheral vision, I noticed Eloise set her pen down. "I can do this on my own," I added, before pushing the kitchen door open and heading for the storeroom.

My heart was still beating erratically when I entered the storeroom and shut the door behind me. It took a good full minute for me to gather my wits about me and pull out the clipboard we used for inventory checks. But just as I began, the door creaked open and Eloise stepped in hesitantly.

"What's going on?"

I didn't glance up from the clipboard. "Everything's fine."

Eloise was silent. "You know, the two of you could be something more if you just - let it," she said, at last.

"Not possible."

"Why isn't it possible? I can understand if Joey doesn't do anything about it," she mused, mildly, "He's been through a rough breakup. He's scared to fall in love again - makes perfect sense. But what're you worried about?"

Shutting my eyes briefly, I let her words sink in. I knew the answer better than anyone else, I knew before she'd even asked the question to it. I could feel my stomach churning, my heart racing with apprehension and anxiety.

"Unless - " A sudden light of realisation dawned on Eloise and she looked at me curiously, " - unless, you're the one who's scared of falling in love."

I shifted uncomfortably, hardly able to meet her eyes. "I'm not - "

Her voice was gentle as she asked, "Are you worried that he's just using you to get over Fiona? You're not his rebound, I hope you know that."

"I know," my voice was barely audible, "But he's mine."

My words hung in the air, stifling and still. But when I glanced over at Eloise, I was surprised to see her with a placid expression. She seemed thoroughly unperturbed. Then again, this was a girl who had been through so much in life. Perhaps nothing surprised her anymore.

"I kind of guessed," she acknowledged, at present, shrugging when I raised my eyebrows at her. "You're always so careful - if that makes sense. Like you're afraid of doing the wrong things that'll mess up your life."

I kept silent, wondering if Eloise was the only one who had noticed this. Or had everyone else noticed too?

Oblivious to my silence, she continued, "It's not wrong to have Joey as your rebound, but don't you think you should let him know about what's happened in your past?"

"I have thought of that," I returned, hating how my voice wrought a certain level of frustration. "It's just not an easy thing to say. If I actually did tell Joey - "

But the words were barely out of my mouth when the already ajar door was pushed open a little farther. Eloise froze, and the words dried on my tongue when I saw Joey.

"Tell me what?" he asked, curiously, his gaze pinning me down.

"I should really get going," Eloise quickly pushed her way out of the room, but not before exchanging a quick, pointed look with Joey.

Her sudden departure left me momentarily confused. I was definitely not ready for this, for spreading my past out on the table in the open just like that.

"So," Joey said, venturing further into the room and shutting the door behind us. His tone was unusually icy, and I suddenly realised that there was a certain guardedness and annoyance in his eyes that I hadn't ever seen before. "Exactly when were you going to tell me that you were using me to get over your own breakup?"

I had to clench my fists to keep my fingers from trembling. "What?"

"A new hoard came in and I was stacking the shelves outside. The door wasn't closed. I could hear everything. So tell me the truth."

Swallowing hard, I raised my gaze to meet his, and was struck with the coldness in them. "You're using me as your rebound too," I blurted instead, rather helplessly, and even as the words left my lips, I realised how false they sounded.

"That's not what I'm mad about," he said, in exasperation, "Bloody hell, Kira, you of all people know exactly how a breakup works. You've been through one of your own. And all this while I never even knew!"

"Then why are you mad at me?"

"I'm not mad at you, for fuck's sake, I'm mad at myself!" he exploded, and I fell silent. His jaw was clenched, and his eyes were stormy, much like that very first day we met. "I just wish," he continued, much calmer this time, "That you had told me about your relationship in the past. The whole time I stood out there, I was berating myself for what an arse I was this whole time - all this while I've called you indifferent and unsympathetic and insensitive, when you actually knew better than anyone else."

Cautiously, I shifted closer to him. "So you're not mad at me?" I clarified. My voice was hesitant, small, a sliver of insecurity I hadn't heard before. "For using you to get over my breakup?"

He shook his head. "Of course not. We're using each other, Kira, and that's fine. We can't get over breakups on our own, so why shouldn't we have all the help we can get?"

His words made sense, and I began to see the bigger picture - that, in this crazy, crazy world, perhaps we all were each others' rebounds. Because relationships were a constant cycle; when one ended, another began.

And whoever you left behind in that past relationship was history, whoever you found in the new one was your rebound. But eventually you saw that person as something more than just a rebound.

"Glitter, listen to me," Joey said, after watching me for a moment.

I met his gaze.

"Maybe you're my rebound. And maybe I'm your rebound. But there's absolutely nothing wrong with that."

I didn't say anything. There wasn't anything to say.

Because he was right.