The Art of Becoming Stridersexual (Homestuck JohnDave)

Chapter 4

You are now Dave Strider.

You are wondering what kind of excuse can get you out of gym for the fourth day in a row when your friend, Jade, pops up out of nowhere with a chirpy "Hi Dave!"

You're so started that you nearly flinch, but luckily, you contain yourself. Instead, you push the last of your books into your locker and turn around to face Jade's emerald green eyes. "Hey Harley."

Jade grins at you. How she manages this much energy at 10 o' clock in the morning is beyond you. You can barely manage standing up.

"Hey, do you have a knife I can borrow? I'm thinking that a severed leg should be enough to get me out of gym."

Jade laughs. "You haven't done gym since last Wednesday, Dave. Mr. Romansky may be dumb, but even he'll be able to tell what's going on soon."

You sigh. Jade's right. Looks like it's gym for you. You turn around and close your locker, then turn back to Jade.

"You ready?" she asks, already starting to walk towards the gym for your next class.

"I'll be there in a sec," you reply, with a slight head nod toward John, who's at his own locker across the hall.

"Alright, see you there!" Jade waves and walks away.

You cross the hallway in a few paces and lean against the locker next to John's, your lips already beginning to turn up in a smile. John's morning attitude is very different from his half-sister's. His eyelids are drooping, and it's obvious he spent first period sleeping. He looks as if he just threw on pants and came to school, as his shirt is wrinkled and his hair sticking up in all directions.

He still hasn't noticed your presence, so you decide it may be fun to give him a bit of a scare. You lean close to his ear and whisper, "John."

He jumps and drops the stack of books that he was holding before turning to glare at you. "Jesus Christ, Dave," he all but growls before beginning to pick up his books. "Ever heard of personal space?"

You raise your eyebrows in disbelief. John cling-on-you-whenever-he-gets-the-chance Egbert, complaining about his lack of personal space. "You're one to talk, bro," you reply with a grin.

He mutters something that sounds kind of like a "whatever" and slams his locker shut, then starts walking down the hall. You follow him. "You doing gym today?" he asks.

You sigh. "There's no way out of it."

He stops walking and smiles at you mischievously with a sudden change of attitude. "I wouldn't be so sure about that."

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"If you think I'm saying something about going to iHop, then yes, I am."

You return John's smile. "Well then, what are we waiting for?"

"Absolutely nothing." And with that, you both turn around and walk out into the student parking lot.

iHop excursions with John have been a thing since sophmore year. Whenever one of you needs a break from school, for one reason or another, you go to iHop. It's only four blocks away from school, and their caramel hot chocolate is unbeatable anywhere else.

"Can we drive?" John asks. Neither of you is exactly dressed for this 20 degree weather, so you nod and pull out your keys.

On the drive there, John starts chattering about how Mrs. Ruiz, his chemistry teacher, has once again failed to explain something correctly. Today it's something about atomic structure. Not being able to listen to John's pointless babble anymore, you interject. "How about you come over to my place after school today, and I'll help you out?" You took chemistry last year, so it shouldn't be too hard for you to assist John.