The Anchor

Repetitive solitude

Step after step. It was all I could do. Keep on walking in the same sad circle I had for days. My feet ached, my mouth was dry, and the hunger I faced was a new kind of pain. Another step towards nothing, and the scratchy brown rope tightly bound around my matted mane dug deeper into the same skin. Each step forward gained me no new ground. It was the same sandy ring that I had been pacing for days. By now, I didn't need to even look down to know my hooves hit the same indented ground they did a minute ago. It seemed hopeless, because it was.The only thing that seemed to have any hope in such dire times were the that bugs swarmed around me, they knew, as well as I did, that as soon as I stopped walking I would die.

Periodically, the rope would twist up around the metal post and the tension, thar came with my constant pulling, would cause it slide around back to the same, north facing point. When that happened, chips of rust would rain down, little more visible than dust. As soon as I realized this, my mind, still occupied with my constant stepping, rejected it as useless information. That is until with one more step, such small actions had piled up. The step that ended my walk, pulled with such force on the now weakened post that the rope cut right through it. I stumbled as the tension was released and the top of poll tumbled down onto the ground with a shallow thump. With this new freedom, I stepped off from the beaten path I had created from myself, still afraid that if I were to stop walking I wouldn't move again. I looked around, for where to go first. Now, with a new hope that I might actually survive. I now had options. I could sprint past the run down cottage and put the open gates, onto the road, in search of greater freedom. But, I was too close to death for such an adventure. I needed to replenish. So, knowing this, the first place I trotted to was the now abandoned barn I had once called home. On the closet side to me there was an old water trough. I was lucky enough that the rains that had pelted my back last managed to pool up enough that I might just quench my thirst. I greedily drank all there was, and licked the bitter rust at the bottom for even a drop more. I would need to soon find a river if I wanted to survive for much longer. But for now thirst wasn't as pressing an issue as hunger. Too long I had been without food, but I would have to wait just a bit longer and walk just a bit further. The grazing field was on the far side of the long road that stretched the length of the farm. I was tempted to run to it, but with so much walking, changing pace seemed almost impossible. So I walked through the graveyard of memories surrounding the beaten farm. More steps, but this time with hope. I passed the windmill, signaling the end of any construction, as the old wooden fence, once a crisp white, soon stopped leaving nothing between me and the forest. The wide dirt road, once well kept, was now over grown with weeds, and the brown needles the sprinkled from the great pines of the forest. The more the walked, and the further away from my previous home I became, I more I felt trapped by the looming pressure of the tall green trees on either side of me. I was always guided away from the forest as a foal and had developed a fear of what might have been lurking in the dark shadows created by the pines. A strange part in the back of my mind wanted to run though, escape the fear instilled into me and grow from my childhood instincts. I was stronger than to give into such temptations and kept my pace forward, creating new tracks in the dirty sand with each step. Soon in the distance, I could spot the patch of tall grass I had been waiting for.

Arriving, I could now see that grass wasn't the crisp green I had imagined, but wasn't dead yet. I could still eat. So, I whipped my head to ward off the flies, still present, out of my face and bent my head down to began devouring all I could. The feeling of hunger fading as I digested the grass. Was more than anything I could have hoped for just hours ago. Before long I was sitting down and letting the warmth of the sun, high in the clear blue sky, blanket my chestnut coat and lead me into a deep sleep.

I awoke to a cool breeze as the last of the sun slipped behind the horizon. Night. A time full of unknown dangers and I was again alone to it. This time was different I had choices. Places to turn to, like a potential river in the woods. Standing, I stared towards the woods I had so long feared and made up my mind to spend the night searching for a river, so that in tomorrows hot sun, I wouldn't have to over heat. I started at a slow pace, adjusting to walking of the thick bed off pine straw that covered every inch of earth in the distance. The bright moonlight shining from above, filtered through the canopy of trees above and the mosaic of light on the ground around me. The beauty of it however, didn't make me any less weary of stones I might trip over and dangers in the dark. It would by my surroundings for the next few hours as I searched for a river so I did my best to adapt to before continuing on. The steps I took were starting to feel less heavy, as I began to recover from the brink of death. Before long, when I turned around the field was completely out of sight and I was on my own. The trees did little to hinder long distance visibility, but their thick trucks left black shadows all around. Small glimpses of shining water, sometimes popped up as I trekked deeper and deeper into the dark woods, but they nothing more than illusions. I started to feel more comfortable in the woods and it seemed like water wasn't that far of a possibility. Then, a rustling behind me urged me to turn around, and I saw a dark wolf like figure. My heart beat started faster and it echoed as I started to run hoping I wouldn't hear anything behind me. Instead, I heard something running on either side of me, along with something following. The trees whipped past me and the flickers of light zoomed by as I burst into a sprint and weaved through branches, hoping I could soon lose the threat of death now chasing me. I was a fast runner, for that was my value to the human who once "owned" me, but without proper time to fully recover from my sorry and frail state, I would be lucky to keep this pace. I became more frantic, regularly whipping my head around to check if the pack had gained anymore around on me and sporadically changing direction, knowing if I didn't lose them now I would die. The next time I checked behind me it was started to look as if I was gaining ground on them and might actually escape. Until, when I turned around to look again, my eyes missed a rock in my path and I tripped over it. My leg gave out and soon all feeling in it disappeared and I had the stop completely. My breath was heavy as I watched as the wolves moved in. With a clear view, their sharp teeth and dirty fur only became more prominent. I knew I was going to soon die as they worked as a team, one jumping up and biting and scratching at my neck, as I hopelessly tried to fight them off. I thrashed my neck and backed up to the trunk of a tree. Rearing up and trying to kick them off. It was no use as their relentless attack continued. Once one of them sunk its teeth down on the rope still dangling from my neck and pulled it back leaving me helpless and my completely vulnerable, while the others relentlessly ripped at my throat, I knew it would soon be over for good. The stinging pain swelled up one more time before it all disappeared. My vision faded and my legs gave out.