Not Just Stories

Chapter 9: Plans

•Ryan•
What. Just. Happened?
Did he really just...... Oh my God! He-he kissed me! What do I do? Does that mean he's in love with me? Was he using me? Did he bring me to Neverland to... love- NO!

I didn't know what to think about this. It was what I wanted but not. I hated it. I hate him!

"You hate him remember Ryan?!" No!

"You want to kill him, watch him pay for bringing you to this hell to suffer!" No!

"You want him to never find happiness! To never get a happy ending!" No!

"You hate him!" No, you don't! You love him.

"No! I could never!" I yelled.

I fought with myself, yelling and doubting everything. I felt like a madman, but who wouldn't in a situation like this. He was the one driving me crazy.

I took a moment to collect myself, slowly breathing in and out again. In and out.

What has he done to me? I can't do this much longer.

I can't.

•Peter•

I don't know why she is making me change like this, why she's making me feel like this.

"What am I to do, Felix? It's been a long time since this has happened." I explain.

"Love makes you do things you never thought you would before. You'll figure out what to do." He leaves me in silence. So much for the help.

Alex walks up to me, a bit worried. "Where's Ryan?"

I look up at him, almost angry that he asked the question. "If you want her you will work and find her yourself."

He didn't challenge me. He just walked away and left me to myself. I have no idea what I will do with her.

Just as I think that, I see Ryan walk into camp, fairly happy but not daring to glance toward me.

I wanted her and I fell jealous of the other lost boys who Ryan wanted to be with. I sat on a rock by myself, thinking.

I couldn't lie to myself anymore about my attraction. There is no denying it now. All I could do is question why it was there.

Everything about her I loved. I loved her boldness and how she wasn't afraid to defy and challenge me.

I loved her intelligence and her strategy that she carried as a weapon.

I love her beauty, in which with one look she could strike down a whole crowd of men and have them begging at her feet.

I love exactly what makes her Ryan Jones, But what makes her Ryan Jones is the reason why she hates me. I am exactly who she knows to stay away from. She's smarter than to love me and I'm a fool for trying.

I get up, without a word said, and head of to my thinking tree. No one is to ever follow me there so I could have silence.

For most of the night, I stayed there. I didn't know what else to do. I guess I just have to accept my loss in this game. I have to clear the board at some point.

•Ryan•

I had started up several games between the boys, challenging them at any time I could.

I had a plan set for tonight. I'm going to make sure I enjoy the lost ones before I never see them again. I simply can't stay here.

I'm not sure how I will convince him to let me go. I know that when you do love someone, you will do whatever to make them happy. I can use that against him. He doesn't have a heart so it doesn't matter.

I'm upset that I will be leaving Alex. I want him to come with me but I don't know if I should tell him. What if my plan with Peter doesn't work and then Alex gets hurt for not telling him.

Alex could tell I was uneasy. "What's wrong Ryan? It's not Logan is it?" He asks

"No. He hasn't done anything. It's me." I pause trying to gather my thoughts, pulling him aside. "I'm leaving Neverland. I want you to come with me."

"What?! You can't. Pan doesn't let anyone leave the island." He explains.

"I know. I have a plan and it will work. I just need to know if you will come with me." I beg "You and I can start a new life together."

"But... I can't. I'm happy here." He tells me. Disappointment rushing through me, he hugs me. "I'm sorry but I won't do it. I can't. Just.... tell me before you go so I can say bye."

He wanted me to stay for the rest of tonight. I had to leave in the morning instead.

I will never love a boy like him. I can't. I have dealt with other boys who were mean too. None of them were quite like him but I have made the decision to stay away.

I will use his "love" for me against him. That way I will be able to leave. I will track him into doing it. I kinda feel bad but I just won't think about it.

I did, however, get a gut feeling that I will regret this.

Ryan! Don't you understand?!  You can't lie to yourself forever! You know you love him as he does to you. You know you wanna be with him! Why can't you just admit it?

Because! I am independent! I am a survivor. I have survived all my life and I don't need his help to do so! I don't need him! He will just... no! I'm leaving!

You know you don't want to. You wanna stay with him. Don't be afraid to love someone!

Every time I choose to love someone they just use me.

But you know that he is different

He's no different.

Yes, he is. He is just misunderstood, like you. Just think about this.... if he lets you go tomorrow you will know he truly loves you. If you love something then you let it go.

And if he doesn't?

Then you can say you're right. Deal?

Deal.

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A/N

Uuuufffffff

She thinks she's leaving now. What do you guys think is gonna happen?

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