Coping Skills

-preface-

I'm not pathetic.

Just a little lost, a little hopeless. No different from the rest of the world.

I don't need help. At all, thank you very much. My mind is perfectly stable. Or it was, anyway.

Besides. I have my coping skills.

I'm not crazy. They keep me sane.

Ed Sheeran turned up on the radio with the lights off, the lyrics humming through the room.

Painting nails in candle light 10 different colors because that takes too much concentration to worry about anything else.

Driving a knife straight into the table, barely missing your fingers. Remembering the song he used to sing. His laugh when you made fun of it.

Exploding stuff on your favorite video game.

Writing.

These are my good coping skills, but they're are bad ones, sort of like habits that I'm trying to burn. The bad ones make the pain go away faster, leaving a numb sensation behind. But it hurts ten times worse the next day.

You're probably wondering what's wrong with me. Why does she need coping skills? Is she crazy?

I already told you. I'm not crazy. Just lost. I was fine before though. There wasn't even a chance I could be crazy. But is it really crazy to hold on to memories of the lost? The people you loved most surely in your life? I don't think it's crazy. That's what I tell myself everytime I talk to the air, imagining he can hear me..and maybe he can. Maybe, just maybe, in the other world he's in, he hears everything I say to him.

Feels my kiss when I blow it into the wind.

I don't like to think of him as gone. Just...visiting somewhere else. He'll be back.

Someday.

I told you I'm not crazy. I'm not pathetic, either. Just madly in love.

Hey guys. This is my first story on wattpad so...I hope you like it! xD I'll try to update regularly.