To All Those Brave and Lovely

the fight comes for you (there is no point to running)

She's on fire.

That's what she thinks, in the split second between when the light blinds her and the pain hits, where suddenly every inch of her is glowing, and that's not right, so she turns to tell Tony, to hold out her arms and say what's going on, help me, please but she doesn't because she no longer has the air to speak, but it doesn't matter, because she is falling, falling, falling, and when she wakes, the world is falling apart.

"Nora."  Janus was crouching in front of her, and she blinks at him before pushing herself upright.  She's on one of those old fainting couches that women used to have to use all the time back when they broke their ribs with their corsets.  Nora hadn't thought anyone actually still had them.  "Nora, what have you done?"

"What happened?"  She could remember lighting up, and she could faintly remember someone holding her, whispering it to her that it would all be over soon, and then darkness.  In the back of her mind, she knew that also means that there was a suit flying to her with at the speed of a jet engine, and that there would be others following- Fury, Natasha, Bucky, Peter.  The whole force of the Avengers would be coming to tear this place apart.  "Why am I here?"

Janus stood up, walking over to the fireplace.  When he places his hand on the mantle, its shaking, and for the first time noticed the fire poker swinging from his hand, and the holes dotting the walls all around the room.  "You know something, Nora?"  He was choosing every word with precision, desperately trying to hang onto his polite façade, to not cross a line.  "I trusted you.   I really did.  And I thought you wanted to stay with me."

"Tony-"

Janus whips around, throws the poker to the ground.  "I know about Tony.  I know you cared about him, were willing to fight for him, to die for him.  And I admired that."  He was breathing heavily.  "Loyalty is an impressive quality."

Nora stayed silent, still, like any move could set him off.  She thought she could handle Janus, but she was wrong.  

"You were trying to leave."  Janus knelt in front of her again, put her hand on his cheek like he had that night in the garden.  "Why would you do that?"

"You kidnapped me.  You kidnapped my father.  We had to leave."  She didn't understand why she kept finding herself in situations like this, explaining to people why what they were doing was wrong, how they couldn't keep taking from other people and assuming that just because they managed to get it, it was theirs.  "No matter how good of friends we are, I never wanted to be here, Janus."

He laughed, softly, then shook his head, his silver hair falling over his face, brushing against her legs.  "No.  You didn't.  But you are now, and we are friends.  And friends forgive each other for their mistakes."  He straightened up, and when he went to cradle her cheek in his hand, she let him.  Nora was too afraid of what might happen if she didn't play along.  "But I'll fix it."

Janus doesn't motion for anyone, but suddenly there are two sets of hands on her shoulders, pinning her back down to the couch, holding one arm out to Janus.  He's got his back to her, but he can still see what he's doing- the tray of instruments beside him, the antiseptic that was spilling off his hands and down to his feet. 

"This is going to hurt."  He's smoothing her hair back the way he did when she was on the ground, on fire and unable to tell anyone how it felt, but this time it is not comforting.  "But it'll be over.  And you can stay with me."

"No."  nora didn't get how this was going so wrong, how there could be so many people she thinks she can trust and ends up being betrayed by.  How so many people out there only exist to hurt others, and how she keeps managing to find them.  "I told you, I don't want that, I want Tony, I want to go home."  Then, throwing all caution to the wind-, "I don't want you, Janus."