Forfeit (Original Edit)

Chapter Four

I ran from the boathouse, my lips still tingling from the kiss.

'Where are you going, Fitzgerald?' Xander asked as he caught up with me.

'Home.'

'No you're not.' He tugged my hand. 'Stop.'

'No.' But I had stopped and I made no attempt to take my hand away from his.

He dropped a kiss on my head and I sighed, letting him lead me down to the lake. We sat on the shore and I looked out at the inky-black water. Windermere, its ripples lit by the moon, was silent, a complete contrast to the thumping bass coming from the house. Xander fiddled with a couple of pebbles, not bothering to look at the view, but then he'd probably seen it a million times before.

'And how many girls have you sat here with?'

'Don't.'

We sat in silence for a minute until he nudged me.

'God, I'm an awful person,' I said, hugging my knees to my chest.

'It's just a kiss.'

'It's not just a kiss. What kind of person cops off with someone six and a half months after their husband dies?'

'Is there a time limit on mourning?'

'I googled it last week.' I tossed a stone into the water. 'Not to see when I could start shagging someone else,' I added hastily.

'What was Google's answer?'

'In Victorian times, a widow would be in mourning for two years and wasn't allowed into society for twelve months. I don't think they'd have been impressed with a widow shagging someone else five months later.'

'I bet they were all at it. What about non-Victorians?'

'It's different for everybody.'

'There you go then.' He tugged my hair. 'You're not crying.'

'I haven't cried all week. You see, I'm an awful person.'

'Fitzgerald, you have to stop beating yourself up.'

'I just feel so...'

'Guilty, I know.'

'Oh God, I'm sorry, Xander. You only brought me to this bloody party to avoid silly girls throwing themselves at you.'

'I wasn't complaining.' He handed me his dare card. 'Expensive kiss. We both failed to do the dares.'

I read his card. Keep the peace for one hour - no talking. 'Regret bringing me yet?'

'Are you kidding? This has been the best night I've had for... oh, about five weeks.' He smiled that fabulous smile.

Five weeks? Ah, the one-night-stand in June.

'Daze, I didn't bring you tonight just to scare the girls away or because I'm so bloody nice, although I am, of course.'

'Of course.'

'But honestly, I didn't expect anything to happen. I was shocked when Clara said... well, that it might.'

What the hell had Clara said to him?

'Look, why don't you give yourself a night off from the guilt?' His eyes gazed into mine, just as they had when we were kissing. 'Have some fun like you did in June.'

Was I the most immoral person in the world? I couldn't breathe but my lips touched his.

'It's just a kiss,' he whispered.