Lonely and Tired

Bye Bye

I flipped on to my side when I heard the door open and Pinkly the white fluff ball curled up on the bed beside me perked up.

"Well don't you two look comfortable," Brian smirked before glancing quickly around our hotel room. "You did check for booby traps right?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yes Brian, I did although I'm sure no one missed your memo about the depth of your retribution if anyone messed with you. You know that's like a red rag to a bull right?" Brian gave a huff of disagreement. I widened my eyes and gave a couple of slow, affirmative nods before I continued, "It is and don't think that your vicious guard dog is going to protect you!" I pointed to the tiny dog dancing in circles of delight on the end of the bed.

"Are you sure about that? She protected me well enough from your cousin's demon child." His lips curled up in amusement as he remembered the way a jealous Pinkly had herded Harper away from him every time she approached him at the pre-tour farewell party at Matt and Val's house. "Why do you think I brought her with me? Pinkly is Team Gates security all the way!"

I grinned as I remembered the way he'd smiled wide when Harper tried to sidle up to him only to be herded away by his dog. "Fuck, I don't know why I didn't think of getting my baby girl to protect me before now," he'd said with a nod of satisfaction.

"Because a grown ass man who needs to be protected by a fluffy white dog from a three year old girl is in no way shape or form slightly pathetic?" Cathy had scoffed.

"Yuk it up chuckles, at least now I can sleep easy at night." Brian had raised an eyebrow and a finger at her.

"Johnny's started carrying dog treats in his pocket. Your dog is now team Christ," I said to bring him back to the reality of just how effective a guard dog Pinkly really was.

"Shit. Really?" He sat down beside me on the edge of the bed and bent to kiss me. Pinkly's head slid in between us and quick as lightning her tongue slipped into Brian's mouth. "Fuck," he spluttered, "That was not the kind of tongue action I was hoping for."

I sat up grinning and rubbed my hand across his lips before I kissed him and gently slipped my tongue between his lips. Brian wrapped an arm around me, pulled me close and kissed me breathless. He only released me when Pinkly offered up a shrill bark signifying her disapproval for the lack of attention being bestowed upon her.

"Better?" I murmured.

"You better believe it," Brian said giving Pinkly a scratch behind her ear. "You'll protect daddy won't you baby? Won't you? That's why I brought you didn't I?" Pinkly looked at him adoringly.

"Bullshit," I scoffed. "You brought her because Michelle said the poor pup is going to be scarred for life with the way the baby chases her." Even though Brian had missed his dog he'd wanted her to live with Michelle and the baby. It was part of his every kid needs a dog philosophy. Michelle had protested but in the interests of peace had initially conceded to his request. Finally though she'd had her way. Baby Haner was an eager crawler and showing alarming signs of being an early walker driven by his obsession with a certain white and fluffy dog. Pinkly was wearing a permanent look of fear that had only lifted a little when she saw the dog carrier. She knew she was going on tour.

Brian shrugged and laughed. "I still think she'll protect me." He shoved me with his hip so I shifted over in the bed. He stretched out next to me and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. Pinkly nestled into my side. I nodded pointedly at her, raised an eyebrow and gave Brian a smug look.

"How'd your interviews go?" I asked dropping my head down onto his shoulder.

"It was an interview. I told them how amazing I am and they agreed," he smirked.

"Did they ask..."Although anxiety no longer twisted through my stomach when I thought of other people's reactions to Brian and my relationship I was reluctant to ask him if the interviewers had asked him about it. Brian hated it when they did, he and Michelle had made their joint statement about the end of their marriage and as far as he was concerned that was the end of the matter.

"Ace! These were professional journalists, they don't care. All they care about is the music. What did you and Pinkly do when you got back here?"

"I talked to Cathy for a while. She was telling me about how Jeff is coping with his and Matt's long distance bromance. Apparently they've Skyped." I snorted. Cathy was pretending to be in despair but I knew she thought it was cute. "Then Pinkly and I worked on our roommate mojo, ate a steak and barked at the television." I dropped a hand down on to the little dog's silky fur. "Pinkly was disgusted with my behaviour and thinks I should learn to relax a little more when I watch talk shows."

Brian looked at me blankly for a moment and then burst out laughing as he rolled half on top of me. "I love you," he said and kissed me.

"I love you too."

"I like your latest pictures," he smiled down at me. I raised my eyebrows in surprise. "I checked them out in the car on the way back." I felt warm and fuzzy deep down inside. It wasn't just Brian's support that had helped me back into the social media saddle so to speak. Michelle and Val had shot off their own cannon blast in the war against my online haters.

At Matt and Val's pre-tour party Michelle and Val had cornered Brian and me with their plan. The result was a photo of me holding baby Haner with Michelle and Brian on either side of me. It wasn't a perfect photo, Pinkly was glaring at the baby from her position in Brian's arms, and neither Baby Haner nor I was looking at the camera. Brian and Michelle were smiling at the camera but Baby Haner and I were smiling at each other and for me that made it perfect. Michelle had captioned it 'Gonna miss these two when they're out on tour' then she'd gone hashtag crazy.

Haters gonna hate. Some still did but that show of support from Michelle had smoothed over a lot of the shit that had still been flying my way.

I'd found interesting things to blog about and photograph on the road. Brian was doing what he loved and playing his guitar. We were spending time with his best friends. Back home Michelle was living her life the way she wanted and doing what made her happy.

I still couldn't do my hair and I still missed my brother. Brian still missed Jimmy. What neither of us missed or regretted were our former marriages, they'd made us who we were. I wasn't sure if Brian regretted some of his early career make-up choices so I chose to regret them for him.

Life wasn't perfect but when is it ever? We'd decided to make the most of our lives so planned on doing just that. Every day.

All was good in the world and the world was good to all of us.

We were a family, not a perfect one, but a family all the same. I for one wouldn't change a thing.

The End

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