Mary Sue/O.C. Reviews

Absurd_Jellyfish

Reviewer: miaow0, because I want a totally honest opinion.

Fandom: Harry Potter
Name: Orchid Laurel (though may change it to Liourdis, because as a Greek surname it may fit better with the universe)

If I were you I would change her last name to Liourdis. Not necessarily because it fits better with the universe (Rowling tends to use more British sounding last names), but purely because I know a very nasty Laurel, so the name has negative connotations for me.
Since your character is half Scottish, you might want to look into Scottish surnames. As for the first name, Orchid is very unusual, which does tend to make characters appear a little more Mary Sue-ish. If you're dead set on keeping it, make sure any siblings she has have equally unique names, as parents tend to name their children in similar styles.

Age: In Harry's year, though I usually roleplay her as 14
Species or nationality: Human, witch, Canadian by birth but half Scottish

Yessssss Canada! I feel like that's a very underused country, so making your character born there is a great way to help avoid cliches, and a Mary Sue

Gender identity: Female

Sexuality: straight

Hair: Rich brown, average thickness, normally straight and silky but gets wild when uncared for, has two cowlicks that never lie flat. A-line bob with thick side bangs.

Eyes: Dark blue-gray, large, deep-set, tend to look sunken when tired or sick

Height: "5.2 at 14

Weight and body type: roughly 110 pounds. Rather lanky during her early years at hogwarts, though her figure fills out later and becomes curvier.

The use of the word lanky implies that she is tall and skinny, however, 5'2" is on the short side.

Common outfit/clothing style:
Hogwarts Uniform: White shirt tucked in to high-waisted skirt, tall black socks or tights, a messenger bag with many assorted pins and keychains
Regular: Orchid likes basic clothes that are cute yet casual, and sometimes grungy (as in the trend). Examples are: t-shirts, high-rise mom jeans, sweaters, plaid shirts, circle skirts and sweaters. She always wears a stretchy choker and many beaded and woven friendship bracelets.

I'm gonna be honest, I have no idea what circle skirts and sweaters are, but as long as they fit with 90s fashion, it doesn't really matter

Likes: Coffee, sweets, anything strawberry flavored, spending time with friends, fancy houses, being silly, reading (magazines, drama and romance novels, and old spellbooks), ancient runes, and studying the science of magic itself.

Dislikes: Being out-sassed, out-smarted, teased too much, not being taken seriously, hospitals, sickness, acid, butober pus (she's very allergic), clingy people, and dirty talk.
Strengths: Doesn't care much what others think of her oddities (after she opens up more), honest, energetic, agile, accepting of ubiquity, determined, quirky, intelligent

Weaknesses: Obstinate, somewhat childish, vain, a bit of an airhead, naïve (until sixth/seventh year), blunt, tends to hold grudges if seriously offended, and becomes very ruthless when herself or someone she deeply cares for is harmed.

The strengths and weakness have some very nice correlation going on, for example honest/blunt, determined/obstinate. This is exactly the type of thing all good characters should have, so give yourself a pat on the back.

Personality: When she first comes to Scotland, Orchid is shy and guarded, not really knowing how to handle being thrown into a magical community when she's stayed shut up in her house for most of her life. But as she grows more confident and comfortable with herself (with the help of friends), her true personality shows through.
Orchid is generally quite light-hearted and energetic, but she can be quite eccentric at times. Though she is usually fairly outgoing, Orchid is an introvert and sticks to her known friend group. However, due to her soft appearance and friendly exterior, Orchid feels as if she isn't always taken seriously, and secretly wishes she were more intimidating. Those who get to know her will quickly find out that there's more to her that meets the eye--underneath her somewhat childish exterior is a surprisingly perceptive mind and a hefty set of morals, not to mention a healthy dose of dark humor.

This also connects well to her straights and weaknesses.

Disabilities: None, though she does occasionally suffer from PTSD and anxiety due to her past, especially in her early and later years at Hogwarts.

Make sure to research the effects and causes of PTSD before you write about it

Pets: A balinese/kneazle mix cat named Orla

Weapons: Her wand, which is ash, unicorn hair, 12 1/2 inches and brittle.

Relationship Status: Single and not allowed to date.

Family: Jared Laurel (father), an eccentric but very ruthless chemist with a passion for potions and defense against the dark arts, Candace Laurel (mother), a hardworking, no-nonsense woman who used to own a bakery, and Selena Laurel, a seemingly apathetic girl who harbors a secret love for all living creatures.

Backstory: Orchid was born and raised in Canada, where the muggles are more aware of the existence of magic and wizards are always in hiding. Her father owned a business that was well known in the muggle world for its effective home remedies and medicines, and in the magical world was known for its odd magical defense devices and lethal potions. However, Orchid's father wasn't always as careful as he should've been about keeping his methods a secret, and soon word of his secret work leaked out to some of the city council leaders. These leaders were descendants of the old scourers, and they had been brought up to believe that any and all magic was dangerous and wrong. When Orchid's father refused their order to close down his business, they took Orchid as ransom to make him comply. Her father was able to save her, but Orchid was injured in the process and they left a lot of evidence behind them. The family moved away to a smaller town, and eventually Orchid's father tried starting a business again. The incident shook both parents, and Orchid and Selena were raised and trained in magic at home, behind closed curtains. Orchid was left with a fear of muggles and the outside world, and because of her enclosed lifestyle, she felt as if she wasn't able to truly be herself outside the safety of her home. Eventually, when Orchid's father's business becomes suspected again, the family decides to move to Scotland, where Orchid's mother grew up, and both children went to Hogwarts. Orchid was flung from a culture that excludes and outlaws magic, to a place where it is embraced and welcomed. At first shy and reserved, Orchid eventually builds confidence with the help of her friends and realizes that she never really had to hide herself the entire time.

I have to admit, I really like the way your backstory matches up so well with your character's personality traits. This is something you don't see too often in Wattpad characters, so good job.

Other: She is very flexible and is not afraid to demonstrate, no matter the place. She only uses vanilla toiletries, and has a thing for boys with pretty eyes.
Has a bit of an acne problem on her forehead, and splash of freckles on her nose (which are often covered with heavy makeup, because she is self-conscious about them)

Freckles are the best. End of story.

1/10
I was very impressed by the amount of thought put into this character. I would just be careful about the name, and make sure the amount of bad traits balances with the good.

(10/10= Mary Sue)